Slurp, slurp...
A few years ago whilst Internet dating, I arranged to meet a young lady who had a very glam-looking soft-focus black & white photo on her profile. Can you tell where this is going?

Now, even though those are two of the tricks-of-the trade to make your photo look better, I still expected her to be recognisable at the very least. So the short, wide, bubble-permed person who turned up with a gap as wide as the M4 between her fron teeth was not what I expected. I swear to this day that she'd put up a piccie of a friend instead.

We met in a very crowded cavern bar and I was already thinking "How soon I can get out of here without seeming unduly rude?" At precisely that point, an obviously-new couple sat in the only free space next to us, sitting opposite each other. They proceeded to lean across the table and start snogging the faces off each other, noisily and with much slurping.

Uncomfortable was not the word. Heeeeeellllpppp WAS the word. Closely followed by a swift exit on the pretext of an early start next day.
(catman, Wed 19 Sep 2007, 11:56, Reply)