New manager at work. First team meeting.
She introduced the new continuous improvement plan for staff (which didn't coincide with continuously rising pay)
Telling us all about the new "key performance indicators" (this for a support worker in a care home) she said there were four levels of achievement:
Does not currently achieve standards
Achieves standards
Exceeds Expectations and (eurgh)
Top Talent.

She went on to say that as we are clearly all intelligent, she expected us all to get "exceeds expectations"
I pointed out that it was now by definition impossible for us to exceed her expectations.
She clarified and said "yes, but it just means that this is the level I expect you to be working at"
I asked whether it was acceptable for me to simply "achieve standards", since I did meet standards, didn't have any ambitions to progress, and wasnt motivated to to beyond.
"no. We expect you to continuously improve"
"does my job description change every three months?"
"no"
"am I doing my job acceptably?"
"we're going to leave it there. I want people to exceed expectations, and you'll need to evidence (eurgh) that you have"
(clinteastwoodbradfield, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 11:06, 17 replies)

word logic trap
and you're both trapped in it - horrible, horrible, horrible
( ferret -> twitter.com/syfyautocorrect <-, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 12:28, closed)

More for less!
Like Poundland, only different.
( PooPants, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 12:43, closed)

A common expectation for support workers might be - work shy and abusive -
Which way are you going to go to exceed that?
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 16:21, closed)

This is too close to the truth to be funny...

( TheMattInAHat has a particular... odour..., Sun 30 Mar 2014, 23:24, closed)

Management Bullshit Handbook Chapter 1
This will be followed by setting targets for various aspects of your job that form part of a scorecard that includes the result of work done by other people over whom you have no influence nor control.

The failure of these other people will then be quoted as the reason for you not getting the expected marking and you will be told you need to improve.

Alternatively, if the other people have been successful, the standards that were set at the beginning of the year and you were expected to achieve against will be "adjusted" (or normalised, or levelled). This will take place too late in the review cycle for you to have a cat in Hell's chance of exceeding the new targets, which will arise as the result of some sort of "cost challenge" wheeze that someone dreams up as they've failed last year's.

/ends corporate cynicism
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Sun 30 Mar 2014, 16:44, closed)

dilbert.com

(Bob the Builder killed Captain Alex, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 17:21, closed)

Find out some dirt on her. There will be some if she's that thick.
Get evidence. Then whistleblow high and loud.
Cunts like that should be nowhere near the care sector, except possibly to get help taking their meds.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Sun 30 Mar 2014, 23:29, closed)

No-one wanting to improve standards should be allowed to work in the care sector.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 17:58, closed)

Yeah
it's a mystery what I'm doing there.
( wynoh kills threads by his mere presence, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 20:52, closed)

It's fun to verb words.

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:40, closed)

I like verbing verbs. I'm such a rebel.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:44, closed)

I'll have to memory that.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 12:58, closed)

Net result
nothing whatsoever changed, but she left the meeting thinking you are a dick.
(username failed moderation, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:59, closed)

So hang on, your boss wants you to provide a high standard of care for your, presumably elderly and vulnerable charges rather than simply plodding alone, using nationally recognised standards and you're whining about it?

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 17:54, closed)

Appraisals are a scam
They're just an excuse for companies to not give everyone a proper payrise. Everyone in the team could pull 60 hour weeks for months to get a product out and still they couldn't all be marked exceeds expectations because of a quota of such ratings. It's a total charade.
(MagicMoose, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 23:02, closed)

Only if you have a shit job.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 23:16, closed)

^owns a suit from Burtons

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 9:36, closed)