Petty OfficialsBob de Bilde says: A traffic warden threatened to call the police and have me arrested because "It's illegal to take photos in the street. You might be a paedophile". I was taking a picture of a funny street sign, over which I had no plans to masturbate. Tell us about petty officials talking bollocks.
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Scaryduck LIKES EGG, Thu 27 Mar 2014, 15:05)
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the queue to get through security at miami airport is very long and very VERY tediousmy friends and i were shattered after a week of going out too much, and it was an overnight flight. but we stood there patiently and complied. finally, we got through the scanners. as i went to put my passport back in its wallet, i noticed that my driving licence had fallen out.
i turned around. it was clearly visible on the floor, just about 10 cm on the wrong side of the scanner, and about 5m behind me. you can probably see where this is going, but i was blissfully oblivious. i smiled at the female gorilla - who had enjoyed frisking everyone a little bit too much in the anal regions for my personal tastes - and turned around to pick it up.
"what are you doing?" she barked.
"i just - my driving licence, look."
"yeah, i saw you drop it." well thanks for telling me, sweetcheeks.
"right, so can i-"
"NO. you have to queue up again."
for something that she had seen me drop about 30 seconds previously, that was a couple of paces behind me? what the actual fuck? i would have understood it if i had reappeared minutes later or hadn't been in sight the whole time, but she was clearly just doing this to be a cunt.
fortunately i was too tired to articulate what i was thinking, so i just mouthed at her like a goldfish. and even more fortunately the nice man at the front of the queue let me jump back in right in front of him, but i'd have had to miss the plane or pay for a new driving licence if he hadn't. stupid powermad bitch.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 9:59,
17 replies)
The last time I went through US border control a few weeks back I forgot to put my insulin in a clear plastic bag.An immense and highly armed guard reached into his pocket, plucked out a bag, and wished me a nice day and a safe flight.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:32,
closed)
yeah welli can understand them being desperate to see the back of you
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:35,
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i'm just surprised he didn't replace it with sugar syrup(
rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 10:44,
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Careful, he's going full Fathhelme.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 8:25,
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It's too viscous to pass through that gauge of needle.And also ... it was a soldier, not a pickpocket. I dunno how he'd swap my medication while politely handing me a plastic bag.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 11:03,
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Bloke was at least 18 stone.If he was a ninja then we're all doomed.
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Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 11:22,
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i sat in front of someone who looked like him on the way out to miamiwhen we got there, he wobbled to his feet, and yanked the storage bin open, clean onto his own head with a thunk that reverberated right along the plane.
SONOFABITCH!!!!! he yelled.
fuck me it was hard not to laugh. only the thought that he could have ripped my scrawny girl arms off and beaten me to death with them kept my face straight.
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rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 11:35,
closed)
I'm not sure that Shambles would have fallen for a wig/syringe exchange.(
Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Tue 1 Apr 2014, 8:24,
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It was Psychochomp in drag.
(, Mon 31 Mar 2014, 14:23, closed)
I was referringto the 'female gorilla', opposed to the 'SONOFABITCH' dude.
(, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 9:51, closed)
^People that say dude^(, Wed 2 Apr 2014, 9:52, closed)
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