I suffer from the fear
that I am in fact the victim of an elaborate hoax and that dozens of other people that I think I have met on "the internet" are not, in fact, sat in front of their computers masturbating furiously every Wednesday afternoon, but just say they are to get a giggle. The same applies to the bondage gear I wear on Tuesday's, the goats milk encrusted butt plug I insert every Friday and the fact that I impersonate tubgirl on a Saturday.

I don't go to work naked on Thursday's as apparently that's "out of line with company policy." My insistence that it was a religious freedom issue did not go down well.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 9:53, 30 replies)

Pure
win, mr thegeordie.
It's always nice to be reminded of goat's milk encrusted butt plugs first thing on a monday morning.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 9:56, closed)

UNBELIEVER!
I didn't invest all your my money and time into setting up a cult for nothing, you know. Doubting Al, the new Doubting Thomas. Do you want to touch my wounds or what?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:17, closed)

*touches wounds*
Mmmm... Meat-tastic
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:21, closed)

Hey CHCB, hey Koka Kaola!
How is?

@CHCB, what's this I hear about you dogging on building sites...?
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:24, closed)

ffs!
digging, not dogging. What kind of girl do you think I am? Not the kind that get frisky with a stranger in a car, that's for sure. I have morals standards class taste a tiny shred of dignity.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:28, closed)

Yo Burt
I'm good thanks.
A weekend of bass-playing, xbox-ing, dogging in a building site with chcb, and that gig friday night was great too.
Yourself?
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:28, closed)

Oooh concert-tastic
what was the gig?
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:29, closed)

Well grease my arsecrack and call me Dodgy Dave
I seen chcb on my site doing an elaborate dance for a crowd of rapidly derobing electricians. I got quite a (pleasant) surprise and very almost dropped my bestest Black & Decker quattro!
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:31, closed)

@CHCB
methinks though doth protest too much. and re: 'what kind of girl do you think I am?' soem questions are best left unanswered.... ;D

@Kaol You lucky, lucky git, my weekend was spent indoors playing Guess Who? with my daughter, til the rain stopped. Not that I'm complaining or 'owt.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:31, closed)

if I ever go dogging
I'll pick somewhere more scenic than a building site.

I was digging, honest. Would you like to see my hole?
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:35, closed)

Yes, chcb.
I'd love to see it.

@Burt - downside to having kids, I'd guess... Guess Who is a bit tedious... Teach her to knife fight!
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:36, closed)

*peers*
It's not very big, is it?

Building sites are full of the romance, and some of the finer examples of the male sex.
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:36, closed)

@ chcb
if you must spend your time digging about in your hole, just make sure there are no kids about.

My nephew, Boris refused to get out of the bath last night as he was too busy playing with his winkle.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:37, closed)

@CHCB
Your not the girl I thought you were!!!!

Put down Al and Bert and step away. You don't know where they've been.
( girlinthehole, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:44, closed)

@BGB
I've been to the petting zoo...
( Bert Monkeysex is waiting for the mods to delete him, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:48, closed)

I am innocent! (In this instance, at least)
Here is my hole
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:48, closed)

My goodness...
And what a hole it is!
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:49, closed)

Does the red and white pole
signify anything about your hole?

In the way that barbers' poles do...?
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:51, closed)

yes
length.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:53, closed)

Not
Depth?
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 10:55, closed)

yes
that too. As rods go, it's pretty versatile.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:00, closed)

Did you excavate it all yourself?
Or did someone else give you a hand?
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:33, closed)

^
There was a group of us. We did it together.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:41, closed)

.
Re weekend: Spent the weekend getting ready for my forthcoming holiday.

Re CHCB's dignity: I think we should all be gentlemen and respect the tiny shred of dignity CHCB has left. However, anywhere the dignity has long since gone is fair game. Get stuck in lads!
( mistaspakkaman and the inedible shifting caterpillars, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:42, closed)

Re: "Get stuck in lads!"
That's what the ringleader said at the end of the dance at the building site.
(Greencloud Wanted to go fishing on, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:46, closed)

It's an impressive hole
Seems to be very clean around the edges. No fuzzy growths or anything.
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:46, closed)

Ahhh
Nothing better than getting all dirty with a group digging your hole.

My weekend was very similar.

I was in Colchester.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:48, closed)

Colchester, aye?
Did anyone tell you they liked your shoes? I have learned that this is apparently Essex slang for "do you want to have sex?"
(Bazongaloid, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:53, closed)

Erm...
I've never come across that phrase as that, Al...
I'm from the "special" part of Essex, admittedly.
( Cawl, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 11:59, closed)

Oh....
That explains it.



I wondered why I'd woken up naked in someone's house when all I'd done was go to buy a new pair of sandals.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Mon 14 Apr 2008, 12:00, closed)