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This is a question The Police II

Enzyme asks: Have you ever been arrested? Been thrown down the stairs by the West Midlands Serious Crime Squad, with hi-LAR-ious consequences? Or maybe you're a member of the police force with chortlesome anecdotes about particularly stupid people you've encountered.
Do tell.

(, Thu 5 May 2011, 18:42)
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I was in LA for the first time a couple years ago, and a few of us wasted no time in leaving the hotel and hitting Sunset. We were drinking beer towers (4 foot plastic tube filled with lager and a small tap at the bottom) in a bar called Saddle Ranch.

It was my round and I duly coughed up a $100 note to pay the tab. A couple of minutes later, the manager comes over and explains that the note I've just given him is fake and would I mind giving more money to conclude the transaction.

I inform him that I wish to have the note back and Ill gladly pay the required sum.

'Oh no', says he, 'its an illegal note, so I have to confiscate it'.

Now, I may have been severely jet lagged, and perhaps a touch inebriated but even through that double combo of brain fog I clocked that this was more than likely a rouse to claim some huge tips out of us unsuspecting tourists.

'Jog on sir' I inform him, 'go and get it'.

He refuses again, and a heated exchange follows. Eventually, I say, 'Fine, get the Sheriff up here, and he can give me a report or something that says you've taken it and I can claim it back from Travelex.'

The manager informs us that we really dont want to get the police involved, to which we of course shouted back 'I bet you fucking dont you thieving yankee bastard'.

We decide to leave and as we walk down the road no less than 4, yes FOUR, LAPD squad cars roar up to us, blocking traffic and boxing us in.

Im bundled into the back of the police car and spend the next 20minutes being grilled by 3 officers one after the other, the last of which informs me that using forged currency is a Federal offence. For those not accustomed to US law, thats pretty fucking bad. He informs he they can either let me go, or llock me up until a judge issues bail.

Inwardly I think 'Holy fucking Christ!!!!!' ...yet outwardly, somehow I remain composed enough to ask 'I see, so what are you going to do?'

Luckily for me, the cop agrees to let me go.
Fast forward to 3am the next morning. I get a call from the night manager that an officer from LAPD is here and wants to speak to me. I get the same 'Holy fucking Christ' feeling again and walk down to the lobby. Waiting for me is the same guy from the night before who strides up to me with the kind of swagger only and American cop can command.

Mr Mobi, we've had the guys at the lab examine the note and have concluded that it is legal tender, it is just an older note, here it is back.

"Say what?"

"Sorry for the trouble, enjoy the rest of your stay."

And he walks out.

Im sure had I not been so stressed/relieved/glad it was fucking over, I could have had grounds to sue or something, but to be honest I was pretty fucking shell shocked.
Our room was broken into the next night and my wallet got nicked along with the note.
(, Fri 6 May 2011, 17:11, 8 replies)
Yes, That Olde Tradition of American Hospitality
Service with a smile!
(, Fri 6 May 2011, 17:18, closed)
So it's true then.
LAPD really are a bunch of incompetent, over-reacting, shit-for-brains bunch of imbecillic scum.
(, Fri 6 May 2011, 17:38, closed)
I've heard that New York City cops
ain't that smart.
(, Fri 6 May 2011, 17:45, closed)
Yes, it's true.

(, Fri 6 May 2011, 19:20, closed)
The Saddle Ranch???
I was there one night while in LA for work (I'm an Aussie) and this cute blonde girl in cut off mini jeans and a midriff top comes up and starts chatting to my mate. He's not a good looking bloke so was delighted but confused. After a while age says "can I have a kiss?" he readily agrees and she stuffs her tongue down his throat fir about ten seconds while her friends, all 20 something college girls, cheer from their table. Then she whispers to him (he told me later) "are you wearing boxers ir briefs?". Boxers, he stammers out. "can I have them?" she asks... And the penny dropped, she was on her hens night and had a list of things to do. Kissing the weirdest freak in the room was apparently one, getting a random guy to hand over his boxers was another and she was out to kill two birds with one stone. I still give him shit about it.
(, Sat 7 May 2011, 5:25, closed)

Most of the time I saw signs that indicated that they weren't very happy about accepting 50's so 100's were probably beyond the pale, you should have paid with 2 dollar bills - they love to get them.
(, Sat 7 May 2011, 21:51, closed)

dollar coins really mess with American bartenders
(, Mon 9 May 2011, 10:27, closed)
So apart from the hassle
and the fact that you got your wallet stolen, you got away without paying for a round?
(, Wed 11 May 2011, 18:58, closed)

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