Log Tables...
How many of you remember Log Tables?

Lovely books full of pages of Logarithmic Tables. No logical order to them. No rule to determine what number comes next.

Just pages and pages of tables of numbers. Like .00345 .01235 .01987.

You get the picture.

Anyway, my Housemaster saw fit to grant me the position of House Monitor at the age of 17.

You were required to assist in keeping the rest of the House in check - unruly chaps aging from 11 to 16.

One weapon you had (used before sending the young scally to see the Housemaster) was *COPY*.

This required the scamp to copy a page of a book onto a sheet of narrow lined A4.

My book choice? That's right. Log Tables.

The conversation wouyld go along the lines of...

Me: Jones, Patterson II, why are you running in the corridor? You know it's not permitted.
Oiks: Sorry, SatchmoR.
Me: Right, I want one side of A4 copy in my study after prep tonight. Page 6 of your Log Table.
Oiks: 1 page of Log Tables?
Me: No, two!
Oiks: Two?!?
Me: No, four!
Oiks: ...remain quiet...

So, after prep, they'd present me with the dutifully copied Log Tables.

Then I'd check three values.

If two or more were wrong, they'd have to be redone.

My Housemaster said I'd put Eichmann to shame.

Then demoted me.

Chokky-Starfish!
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:15, 12 replies)

*likes*
*clicks*

(Though I am quite jealous of the fact that you obviously went to a half-decent school...)
( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:17, closed)

Maybe'twas a decent school...
But, the first day I was there I was asked what my middle name was.

"I don't have one," answered I.

"Your family too poor to afford one, eh?" sneered the lad who's name happened to be Nigel Pemberton Orange-Bromehead.

"At least I'm not named after a gaudily-painted cleaning utensil, quoth I.

"It's double-barreled, and pronounced 'Brome-Head'," says dickwad.

*THUMP* says my fist.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:03, closed)

That's evil
I never ever did anything like that. I never even insisted on a first year writing a 1,000 word essay on the sex life of a ping-pong ball. No. Not me.
( chickenlady b3ta's very own Elizabeth Taylor, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:37, closed)

Spooky!
I managed a half-hour talk on just that subject.

I even managed to prove they were hermaphrodites. There was just one in the rack in tghe sports shop one day, and the next there were dozens!
(Kliper Filllets Getting noticed by twats on the internet since, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 15:19, closed)

That's reminded me! I also went to a private school where one prefect was known to threaten us younguns with having to fill a sheet of A4 with an essay about the inside of a ping pong ball. They were called 'blues' as they were issued on sheets of blue paper. Funnily enough.
(Dannyboy_37 raped your dead mum whilst stamping on your kitten, Wed 14 Jul 2010, 16:42, closed)

That's so good
I'm saving it for when I have children.

Click
(Aberracion Life's getting very complicated, but a lot of fun., Thu 8 Jul 2010, 16:42, closed)

Don't forget
To teach them the words for various everyday things in Hungarian.
(SatchmoR No, mummy, don't put knitting needles in my ears!, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:04, closed)

I will not buy this record.
It is scratched.
( idonthaveafunnynickname Drink-Aware? Sure. I'm aware I want another drink., Fri 9 Jul 2010, 1:35, closed)

One of my school prefects was like this.
Even a teacher was heard referring to him as a "little Hitler" at one point.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 17:44, closed)

I hate maths
I hated maths at school and I still don't really get it. The most useful thing I ever learned in the maths class was my times table. Fortunately, my husband is great at maths! Which is a relief.
(Woofie, Thu 8 Jul 2010, 19:43, closed)

Pokes
Some of us voluntarily did stuff like this on the old C64/Spectrum when typing out the cheats with the Poke 123, 456 etc. So I feel their pain.


You bastard.
(langers, Fri 9 Jul 2010, 10:46, closed)

Man,
I'd have twatted you sooo fucking hard.

This may be why I was thrown out of a posh private school for fighting with a lad who now plays rugby for England...
(robbersdog, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 16:47, closed)