He has absolute power over me
every morning, it's the same - he yells at me, hits me in the face, sometimes bites me, to wake me up. He normally paws at my breasts for a few minutes too. I get up, get him some breakfast - anything he doesn't like, he drops on the floor, and yells at me some more. I prepare our lunches, and then get a few hours peace when I come to work.

When I get home, it's more of the same - the yelling, the punching, the expecting to be waited on hand, foot and finger. I prepare him a nice nutricious meal - last night, for example, was salmon with new potatoes and mini corn on the cob - and he refuses most of it, just flinging anything he doesn't want on the floor. I wash up, clean up after him, clean his clothes, and all the time he's screaming and yelling at me. I have bruises from him, toothmarks, he's yanked my hair so hard I've had a couple of small bald patches from his efforts.

In bed, he's even more violent - he can't lie still for more than 2 minutes at a time, he's constantly kicking me. He spends some more time pawing at my breasts - it's as if they're his toys or something. I can't sleep well, as he takes up so much space in the bed, I'm always in danger of falling out. If I ask him to move, he gets very angry, so I've learnt that it's better to just leave him. I'm absolutely exhausted.

Despite all of this, I couldn't live without him. I spend all my time thinking about him, and I've reduced my hours at work so I can spend more time with him. I worry all the time we're apart that something might have happened to him. People joke that I've only got 18 years until he leaves home, but I'm secretly dreading the day my baby boy wants to move away from his mummy.
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 10:01, 24 replies)

Two things
I thought you were talking about a cat in the first paragraph

Your son sounds like a right brat, have you tried not smothering him with affection?
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:08, closed)

To be an effective parent
means making sure that you have the power, or at the very least, make sure the child never knows the power that they have.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:27, closed)

This requires resoning from the child
I have a 6 week old bundle of joy at home. He can be quite unreasonable at times.

OK, all the time . . .
( Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:41, closed)

exactly!
he's only 9 months old, so although sentient, not yet sapient!
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:51, closed)

Babies learn even before birth
they also learn to get you to do what they want from the first moment they are born. The tricky bit is to learn how to differentiate between when they need something or just want something. I have seen both extremes often, parents who neglect a child that needs changing or is ill, and I have seen infants who command a slave. They are masters of manipulation, and should they succeed, their parents will be responsible for one more of those arrogant little shits on welfare (living off someone elses back), who believe that the world owes them a living and then some. Try to find the balance. It is difficult, more often than not you won't, but in the long run it will balance out, instead of being all one way.
(M61A1 CUPID- STUNTS, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 2:32, closed)

Or a reasonable parent
She lets the baby sleep in her bed all the time, and he's big enough to eat solids. He apparently lashes out in a textbook 'smothered child' fashion. She's given what's basically a drunk midget all the power in her life and of course he's acting accordingly.
(ElectricSexPants would like to be the Sultan of something, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:51, closed)

hah.
You wait, one day it'll happen to you . . .

I also have a 6 year old daughter. She can wrap me round her little finger.
( Not Pineapple anymore, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 11:56, closed)

My step-daughter...
...aged 16 or 17 at the time, was asked by her friends where her father was (we were in California, he was in upstate New York.) After only a moment's thought, she held up the pinky finger of her right hand, pointed at it with her left index finger, and said "right here!"

She's one of my favourite people on earth.
(IHaveComeAmongThee__Twice Tissues on the left. Self-esteem on the right., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 4:54, closed)

ha ha
he does eat solids, but also has feeds 3 or 4 times a day. like most nearly toddlers he grabs hold of things and gives them an exploratory tug, and he drops stuff off his highchair - it's fairly standard behaviour :-)
(oh, and he doesn't sleep in our bed all the time, but when he wakes in the night, we bring him in - whereupon he stretches out and we both shunt to the sides!)
he's currently merely textbook 'child' not smothered :-)
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:02, closed)

We had ours in our bed until they were two.
More sleep for everyone and now they're some of the few kids their age we know who don't wake up in the night or have separation anxiety.
( Colonel Boris "...a desperate Buzzfeed imitation...", Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:41, closed)

Come on people...
What works for one doesn't necessarily work for another. My son was in his own bed at 6 months, and has never had seperation anxiety or problems sleeping through the night. The next might be totally different. That baby isn't your baby, and your techniques might not work the same.

Fuck, that was serious. Just to get back to normal, anyone want to touch my monkey?
(Discocat is bringing sexy back, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 14:58, closed)

Serious but very, very wise.

I'm of the same opinion. Noone better knows the child, or cares more for it, than the parents[*] and their intuition counts for a lot. By all means take all opinions on board-if you asked for them (ignore the others), and then make your own mind up. Kid'll turn out alright in the end. Mostly. We're parents. We're going to fuck something up, for heaven's sake. It's the way of the world. I figure if I get mine to 18 and I'm still being talked to with some civility, I've done ok.

[*] I am not here referring to chav parents, or those for whom children are unappreciated because they impinge on the parent maintaining the previous, child-less lifestyle.
(IHaveComeAmongThee__Twice Tissues on the left. Self-esteem on the right., Tue 13 Jul 2010, 5:03, closed)

Mogwais can be a handful, can't they?

(MrOli is ugly, but in the morning you will be sober, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 13:33, closed)

well done you
we have ours on the way (due date of 9/11)
yikes
( zulu eh?, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 16:03, closed)

good luck!
it's hell for a while, but more than worth it!
( ascorbate, Mon 12 Jul 2010, 18:42, closed)

^^this.

As for the bullshit "rod for your own back" - grr that gets my hackles up. We co-slept until Sproglet was 18 months or so, we all had more sleep because he could roll over, latch onto the milk bar hassle free, without any need for me to haul my lazy fat arse out of bed. Bliss. When he stopped wanting the boob through the night we started popping him into the cot at bedtime. No stress, no tears. All good in the hood.
(mad-mother, Tue 13 Jul 2010, 19:14, closed)