my mother
once had a boyfriend who was very excited about the christmas presents he had bought for her and her family. they had met at university, and he had moved up to yorkshire to be with her, where he had got himself a great job. he could not wait to splash the cash and share the love. bubbling with glee, he could not keep the secrets to himself, and told her that he had bought jewellery for her; albums for her brother, who was an amateur dj, and nice things for her parents too.

on the big day, he was down south with his own parents. my mother's family gathered round expectantly to open his presents. they all felt very light, but maybe he had just used big boxes, they thought.

and they were right. he had. he had just wrapped up a load of empty cereal boxes.

when he returned to yorkshire, my mother asked him what on earth he had been playing at. he replied that he could not understand it; the presents had been in there when he left. he said that they must have been burgled, and the thieves had known which presents to target. yes, and had bothered to replace them with empty boxes in matching paper and with the tags carefully stuck on them.

shortly after that, my mother discovered his great job was non-existent and he had been living in his car, using the spare key to her parents' place to sneak in during the day and steal food...
( rachelswipe with a fork, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:44, 4 replies)

nice :(
Bet he ate all the cereal too. Was there Coco-Pops too, I like them.
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 10:57, closed)

sounds like
he had issues...
(Subway Riding the rails underground, Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:29, closed)

Ha!
Fucking genius, that! My mate goon is a fucking liar too, hours of fun!
(The Boy Monders I have ginger bits in my beard., Mon 30 Nov 2009, 11:34, closed)

"Great job", "yorkshire"
She should have seen right through him.
(PsychoChomp, Thu 3 Dec 2009, 9:16, closed)