Pretentious bollocksPossibly the worst event I ever went to was an evening of turntablists in London. The lights went down, the first guy put a cymbal onto a turntable, dropped the needle on it and left it making screeching noises for ten minutes.
When the lights came up, half the audience had snuck out.
What's the most pretentious rubbish you've ever been to see in the name of art?
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chthonic, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 14:19)
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You forgot the word " Wanker" I added helpfully!I went to an exhibition launch recently - lots of free wine, beer and occasional tiny bits of food wandering past on tiny trays. Anyway, one of the people I was with was talking to her slightly more pretentious friends:
"How is Tarquin*?"
"Ooh, he's got a new project coming out. It's called 'Smoking My Blood'!"
"What's it all about?" (No really, they had to ask. Stupidity recognises no irony).
"Well he cuts himself, bleeds into a bowl, dries the blood out until it's dust, then rolls it into a cigarette and films himself smoking it!"
There was an awed hush into which I felt the word "Wanker" should be helpfully inserted.
*Can't remember the guy's actual name. If you are called Tarquin and this stereotyping offends you, then I have two words for you. Deed Poll.
My sister had an exceptionally pretentious and extremely evil teacher at primary school, whose children delighted in the names Tarquin, Leander, Merrily and Gay. We made it into a song and pissed ourselves laughing for a long time on that one. Mind you my sister went to Art college ten years later and I bought a crushed velvet purple coat once, so I guess her evil work was done...
(, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 16:38, Reply)
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