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This is a question Pretentious bollocks

Possibly the worst event I ever went to was an evening of turntablists in London. The lights went down, the first guy put a cymbal onto a turntable, dropped the needle on it and left it making screeching noises for ten minutes.

When the lights came up, half the audience had snuck out.

What's the most pretentious rubbish you've ever been to see in the name of art?

(, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 14:19)
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stupid photo art woman...
I suffer from the wish to produce art that looks like things that are recognisable and stupidly thought that doing a fine art degree would aid me in this endeavour... However, if you happen to tell an art teacher that you know what you want to do, and that's to paint still-life or portraiture, they get very upset and express that you couldn't possibly know what you want as they've not yet shown you how to think. I'm from a very rough council estate and am about as pretentious as a manhole cover - which meant that there were lots of arguments between lecturers and me - because I refused to draw without looking at the paper, paint with my left hand or many of the other stupid, ridiculous bollocks that they spewed out...
Anyway, we once had to watch a video where a woman lay on a big piece of glass, naked, twisting her body around whilst a bloke took photos. This was supposed to show how womens bodies have been distorted by men through history. At the end of the video the lecturer asked what we thought. Nobody said anything. She insisted that we must have an opinion - so I piped up with "Pretentious art wank", which I then had to justify - fair enough, so I did (mainly through pointing out that the supposed artist was the one distorting her body and she was the one paying the bloke to take the photos - so how come men were getting the blame?). This phrase (unfortunately for the lecturers) then became the standard response for most of the class when we were asked what our opinion was..
I didn't last very long at art school... but have had my (boring, unoriginal) stuff on display and people have offered me money for it - so I think I'm doing OK, despite the fact that I don't know how to think properly...
I love a lot of art, but cannot stand most of the artists I've met - self-deluded imbeciles who talk rubbish and can't bleeding draw..
(, Wed 28 Sep 2005, 18:41, Reply)

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