I went for an interview with a lying shitbag company
The job advert on the Local job website said "Media Sales Executives" wanted. I have been unemployed for two months and am slowly going under, I need a fucking job and fast before I lose everything I own to pay the blood sucking local council's extortionate Council Tax bill. (Yes, I hate those utter cunts too. "Sorry Miss Flakes, you earn too much as a couple and so we are going to bleed you dry, take all of your possessions and fuck you over to pay for the Mayer to sit in the park and get blown by the Work experience girl!" Utter, utter bastards!)

Anyway, thinking that I had nothing else to lose, I applied. I can sit at a phone and sell advertising to companies... Or so I thought.

I got a phone call, "We were very excited by your CV, you seem perfect, can you come in for an interview tomorrow?" I should have known better, it was too good to be true. I dash off shopping. They said I need a business suit, thankfully the Employment service can help for a change, once they establish that yes I have an interview, no I do not have any boots other than my motorbike boots, I used to be a fucking mechanic for a living!

I got up at six AM and got ready, I even put on some make up to make myself look a little presentable, I then pulled on my bike gear and rode off into the morning. I was actually excited about this.

The Bristol rush hour was horrible and filtering through was nightmare, even allowing two hours to do a forty minute journey was pushing it. I was still super keen.

I got there, changed in the street out of my leathers, thankfully the nice stuff was underneath, so no actual nakedness, I put on my interview shoes and walking across the street and into the building. I started to worry, the people I was about to see shared an office with a Krishna Group.

The girl who met me was a fucking predator, all sparkly teeth and blond hair, too much make up and heels so high she was almost in stilts. I was shown to a seat and told to wait my turn. Twenty other "Just perfects" sat with me, some looked like they had been dressed by their Mum or their Carer.

After an hour, I finally ask to use the loo, being made to wait after that ride is not a good feeling. The loo was some what run down, the toilet role is a cheap Happy Shopper one and left on a ledge. The sink has no soap, the hand drier is broken, the wall has damp, the paint is peeling and I start to sense doom.

Finally I am asked in. This is not a fucking job interview, this is a sales pitch. Do I want to be a Private Contractor selling Door to fucking Door on a commission only basis?

No! I hate those fucking bastards who hassle you on your own front door to swap power supplier, phone company or dish washing powder.

I hate filthy lying well dressed shitebags who imply that you can actually earn a descent wage, but are lying so badly, you can see the cracks in their make up. No wonder the hollow eyed predator looked so fucking evil.

Mantra Marketing, The Cobra Group, I did some research, it seems I am not alone in hating them. Be careful out there folks, these scum want you to sell them your soul and then for you to intimidate and rip off the poor and the ill-informed!

Man I hate those who prey on those too desperate to have a choice. I also hate the Council and I hate the banks that put this country in sucha fucked up state. I have never had problems finding work since leaving University in 1998, but now I am stuck on the dole, facing a future that is rapidly going down the toilet. Utter uter bastards all of them.

Sorry for length, but my god they were pricks, also for ranting, but you did ask... Grrrrrrr
( Rev. Jayneflakes Buy my book, I need the cash for drugs and hookers, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:19, 10 replies)

They
are absolute robbing cocksuckers....
(mattmatt, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:29, closed)

The Cobra Group are snakes
You can earn wel, but they are almost criminal.
( disasterprone "Pyjamas caused the Holocaust", Thu 27 May 2010, 14:31, closed)

To earn well you need to lie very convincingly, and basically have no soul.
(mattmatt, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:42, closed)

I spent a day with a Cobra Group man
going door to door as a sort of second round of interview as I was still pretty clueless after the first round as to what exactly it was that they did, so effective was their sales pitch at masking the soul destroying truth.

I walked around an old mining town in the South Wales Valley's watching a grown man attempt to defraud old age pensioners out of their money. It was so slick it was unnerving and it broke my heart to witness first hand these old dears getting sucked in so devastatingly.

Whoever set up this company is utterly, utterly wicked and emotionally corrupt. Yes, the profits are huge but at what, very human, cost?

I got offered the job but very swiftly turned it down. I don't think I could have lived with myself if I'd accepted.
(Stuffed Chimp, Thu 27 May 2010, 14:48, closed)

This ^
Happened the same to me in Reading. They kept calling me for a week asking me why I wouldn't come back after the "interview day".
(Nightviolet, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:00, closed)

Me Too...
...in Leeds - a company calling itself ETM Ltd. An initial interview spent trying to figure out what the hell they do, followed by trailing round a council estate with some slimy f**ker trying to get people to change phone contracts.

I was offered the job, but, as a lowly, broke, just out of Uni type, I didn't have a whole lot of choice on the job front, so buggered right off to the nearest train station, having told them where to stick their 'Marketing Executive Position'.
(Ocelot, Thu 3 Jun 2010, 0:51, closed)

I have had a similar experience with the Cobra Group. They were so vague that I didn't realise it was door-to-door until my first day. They made me pay all my travel expenses, which came to a fair amount when we were knocking on doors in Morecambe even though we were working out of a Manchester office. I worked out that I made £5 profit in the three weeks I worked for them.

Cunts.

Took me three months of pestering to get a ninety-pound bond out of them as well.
(Squid Bunty, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:18, closed)

Yep, I've been through the Cobra Group mangle as well.
In terms of training in how to become an amoral, utterly unscrupulous daylight robber, it's probably better than a Class C prison.

A similar experience of mine: got a call one day when unemployed that bandied around vague phrases like "exciting opportunity" and "good match for your skillset". Being young and naïve at the time, I duly agreed to go and interview with them, in their hideous fake-Greek temple offices in the arse end of some low-rent borough of Outer London.

It turned out to be an offer to train me as an IT consultant, which rather than making me any money would actually have set me back just shy of £9000.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:25, closed)

I fell for this one once
I'd been on the dole for two months, the ad was vaguely marketing related.

We were told basically nothing, except the interview would involve going out with a pretty yopung lady, and she'd show us what the job entaled. What it involved was slightly worse than door-to-door, it was hassling people AT WORK!

Yep, go to your nearest trading estate and hassle satff while they are wroking, trying to get them to sign up to some tax dodge charity thingy (I didn't really understand it, since the idea was they took the money from your tax, but you still had to supply your bank details...(?)

The girl showing us the ropes couldn't have been more than 18,a nd was saying how she was going to have her own office in six months.

So not only was it jumped up chugging, they were also selling it as a pyramid scheme to innocents like her!
I walked away after half an hour.
( Joe Scaramanga with a G-double-O-D vibration, Thu 27 May 2010, 15:44, closed)

And, thanks to our lovely Libservative Gubmint...
...next time you're on the dole and a job like this comes up, you'll be forced to take it or else you'll have your benefits stopped.

Thank you so much, Consevative voters.
( shinyshinyscalp less a man, more a way of life, Fri 28 May 2010, 14:03, closed)