Restaurant owners
I'm not thinking of twats like Gordon Ramsay, who've made cookery - an activity we all do all the time - into a weirdly macho competitive culture. Rather, I'm thinking about restaurant owners in general. And I'm thinking of one weird thing they all force their waiters to do which gets right up my pipe...

"Is everything all right with your meal?"

Naturally, this always happens at a critical moment in an anecdote/marriage proposal/coming-out speech/revelation of terminal cancer.

Here's the thing: if there's a problem with my meal I'm quite capable of summoning a waiter and saying so. THIS IS PART OF BEING A FUNCTIONING ADULT. I'd suggest that if you're not capable of summoning a waiter when there's a problem with your meal, you're not ready to be dining in restaurants. Or possibly even dressing yourself.

I know it's not the waiter's fault - they're forced to do it because restaurant owners all have a weird collective delusion that it's a good idea. Chain restaurants even get their mystery diners to note whether or not they were asked if everything was okay with the meal as part of a restaurant's evaluation. But why??? WE DON'T NEED THIS! FUCKING STOP IT!

(I shouldn't have typed this - I'm going out for dinner tonight and might end up lamping a waiter having got myself into a rage.)
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:18, 14 replies)

Mystery diners note this...
... because if their waiters ask people if there's anything wrong with their meal and they say no (or the reverse and they say yes) then they're less likely to make shit up later to try to claim a free meal. The waiters aren't asking for your benefit, or because it will make you feel nice.

It's the same reason coffee cups say "Warning: contents may be hot". It's not a service, it's a safeguard.
(sabre-tooth monkey, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:24, closed)

Is that what it's really about?
In that case I hate restaurant owners even more.
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:41, closed)

It doesn't work then.
I've seen a few occasions where the quality of the meal was remarked upon after this point but a discount was given.
Most recently at Frankie & Bennies in Manchester when my girlfriend's steak was overcooked but she hadn't tried enough to mention it then and, besides, didn't fancy a spit-marinade.
Besides, since you're paying for the goods and service after the fact you are under no legal obligation to pay the price the restaurant ask -- you could even leave your details and go without paying.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Fri 28 May 2010, 17:35, closed)

Ah, if only it had just been the waiter spoling the evening
I had the misfortune to visit a 'restaurant', quite an expensive one too, where the Maitre D' didn't think we'd need a wine list as he was going to suggest a suitable wine when we'd chosen our meals. He was quite put out when I refused his suggestion (not bad, but would have been too tart for my wife's taste) and asked to choose for myself. They then kept the wine in a bucket, nowhere near the table, so we couldn't serve ourselves. The waitress explained each item she delivered in minute detail, feeling it necessary to explain what an amuse bouche was and why they were giving us sorbet. The piece de résistance was when the chef came out of the kitchen to stand by our table. He just kind of stood there, hanging about, probably waiting for us to tell him how wonderful he was. He just made us feel even more uncomfortable and we wouldn't have wanted to tell him that his food was pretty mediocre, that's just not necessary.

Strange thing is, I had a look at the reviews of the place on tripadvisor and people seem to love it, so maybe I'm just too grown up to eat there.
(lardyboy Next stop, Fissplap Central, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:40, closed)

My missus loves that sort of place...
...where the chef comes round and explains how the angle of each individual anchovy scaleBLAH BLAH BLAH. But I'm with you. I think there's a sort of U-shaped price/enjoyableness curve. If a place is very cheap or very expensive it'll be a shit experience.
( Olembe Refuses to write in this space, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:43, closed)

oh I like this
and "I don't know whether everything is all right with my meal, as you can plainly see I haven't had chance to put fork to mouth yet" is rarely a welcome response.
( sanityclause is waiting until, Fri 28 May 2010, 16:43, closed)

At the Pizza Hut lunchtime buffet,
if you stop chewing they come over and say 'Have you finished or are you having a breather?'

Very refined indeed.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Fri 28 May 2010, 17:24, closed)

Waiters round here use another critical moment to ask
...the point at which you've just put a forkful of food in your mouth and are consequently unable to do anything but nod and make some sort of vaguely appreciative grunt.
( Snappyuk gets BIGGER with free sample., Fri 28 May 2010, 17:41, closed)

I always wondered about this too..
It's something that was drummed into me when I worked in bars, restaurants and diners years ago, and when on the receiving end, was something I hated.

I find it very invasive, and as was posted, always seemed to happen at a key point in your conversation with whoever you were talking to.

Never knew the reason behind it, and it was always made worse when you were eating at the end of the waiters/waitresses shift, when after hours of asking this question, the 'table check' degraded to a simple 'you alright mate?'
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 28 May 2010, 18:01, closed)

I run a restaurant, and we always do this!
My restaurant is towards the cheap and cheerful end of the restaurant scale, and we're often chock-a-block full. I know that when I'm a customer, the "is everything alright with your meal" question can be annoying, intrusive or downright uncomfortable, but it is important! It gives customers a chance to order more drinks, ask for more bread, make any comments good or bad on the food etc. The whole point of my job is to provide good food and good service, and asking customers is a good way to check if you're doing things right!

It's hard to give every table your full attention when we're full - I'm sure you've all experienced the annoying task of trying to catch a busy waiter's eye, but we ALWAYS make sure each table is asked at some point if everything is OK, because sometimes it isn't!

It is unfortunately also true that customers will complain that something was wrong with their meal when it comes to paying the bill, which is very frustrating, cos they were given the chance to pipe up during their meal! We basically have a policy that if a customer has a problem with the food/service, they decide how it's put right, whether it's a replacement meal, free drinks, a discount or a free meal! In the long run it more than pays off to have your customers leaving happy and feeling like they had good service than wringing an extra few quid out of them quibbling over their problem. If the problem's resolved to their satisfaction there's much more chance they'll come back again!

Oh dear, I seem to have waffled off on a tangent...
(Tum-ti-tum, Fri 28 May 2010, 20:11, closed)

^ Good answer.
Mystery solved!
(danniekavanagh did nothing constructive on, Fri 28 May 2010, 20:15, closed)

Agreed
good answer, makes sense.
(Moominator missing the good stuff cos' the swear filter is on, Sat 29 May 2010, 8:01, closed)

Good service is surprisingly hard to find
I think that it is the balance between friendly attentiveness and unobtrusiveness that is so difficult to balance. Either right up in your face, or nowhere to be seen. Vary between sycophancy and rudeness.
( Sextant goes to him is emotionally erect, on this day, Sun 30 May 2010, 13:47, closed)

teh question they should ask...
How was your meal?
(twiceydrinker hmmm is it pint time?, Wed 2 Jun 2010, 10:24, closed)