Pants down master AKA how to get thrown out of a bar quickly
on a recent stag do i learned a new drinking game called ball bag master the rules are simple one person is nominated as the ball bag master, when they put their ball bag on the table the last person to do so has to down their drink and they then become the ball bag master.

the first round of this got us a warning from the bouncers, i don't think they saw it but they did witness the tie breaker between the 2 people who were unable to get close enough to the table to pull down their fly and stretch a bit of scrotum onto the table.

a short while later after a smoke and a trip to the bar i rounded a corner to be greeted by 6 men standing around the table with their trousers around their ankles, arses out cheering. I later found out that ball bag master had evolved/devolved into pants down master. my reaction to seeing this sad spectacle was to turn around and go back the way i came. moments later i saw the bouncers running past me in the direction of said table as one of the barmaids was unfortunate enough to witness the whole pathetic affair and had radioed them.

when the bouncers asked me if i was with them the shameful look on my face said it all

that was the 4th bar we had been kicked out of so far that evening
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 18:35, 30 replies)

well you don't sound at all like pointless manboy virgins

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 18:52, closed)

well thats certainly something you know plenty about being
if anyone could spot one it would be you
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:05, closed)

Well at least you didn't resort to an infantile "I know you are but what am I?" riposte.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:07, closed)

I know I am not infantle but what are you?

( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:27, closed)

As of last week it turns out he's a bashful millionaire member of the intelligentsia, cleverly disguising it behind a fascade of a provincial drab ex-local authority house boasting a shabbily put together pizza oven.

(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:33, closed)

really
I assumed the best had could manage was a matalan card, a range master and at least had bi-monthly fondue parties
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:40, closed)

Whilst this is all undoubtedly true,
it does nothing to diminish the good Doctor's original point.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:42, closed)

well there is never any response to anything he says
that is anything more than simply "help help someones anus had broken loose" no matter how you try to word it
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:22, closed)

annus

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:24, closed)

I you prefer the Borat pronunciation
I wont stop you
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:32, closed)

alright, albert fairholme

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:56, closed)

Butthurt lolzorz.
You should perhaps refute this with another tale of your incredible made up internet wealth that has everyone fooled, councilhouseman !
(Your name: Board Sig:, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:01, closed)

Oh noe Dr Butthurt's gone and ignored me after some light ribbage about his council house.
I can't believe a fat middle aged man could possibly become upset over somebody doubting their painfully obvious lies about being a millionaire. Perhaps his super intelligence doesn't quite cover posting rubbish and looking like a twat.
(Your name: Board Sig:, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:23, closed)

He's ignored me too for a similar 'crime'
Who'd have thunk that such a persistent contrary uber-critic of everybody and everything could be so sensitive and tetchy?
(Dr Doctor Can't you see I'm burning burning?, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 11:26, closed)

This is clearly only the first half of this thrilling tale.
Tell us what happened when you mashed your sweaty knackers against the serving counter of the kebab shop and when you unleashed the boys to let them breathe before pissing in someone's doorway.
( .Yeti. El amor en los tiempos del cólera, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:29, closed)

i will save that for another day
however i have just pooped for the third time today


which was nice
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:39, closed)

Did you ever do the "pretend you've stumbled and grab a handful of some woman's tit, and if you get a slap or thrown out you lose" game?
It's well lol and in no way is it sexual assault
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:51, closed)

nope
if someone could modify the rules to include drinking i will float the idea at the wedding
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 19:55, closed)

For added fun, make sure the target is the girlfriend of the biggest rugby player there.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:51, closed)

alas the wedding is in cambridge
so i doubt there will be anyone vaguely resembling a rugby player
( Reme Philips laid an epic dump on, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 20:53, closed)

when did we start hosting chav weddings in Cambridge?
fuck off to Stevenage or Luton
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 22:53, closed)

Don't send your yahoos down my way!
Cambridge is used to being populated by solipsistic wankers.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 23:10, closed)

I just went on eBay and ordered a casette of the song 'Martika's Kitchen'
For no reason at all! I'm crazy too!
(Andrew Avetoom, Thu 17 Jul 2014, 23:01, closed)

yay drinking games!!
they're brilliant because you get to drink AND be a dick AND piss off everyone else in a 10 mile radius.

Win -WIN - WIN
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:31, closed)

I know you are but what am I?

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 9:36, closed)

easy
a terrible internet bully

and lifelong friend and bumchum of Rob Carehome
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 11:05, closed)

get with the times, gramps
I'm a fat bloke in a council house this week
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 13:55, closed)

Edit
a fat terrible internet bully, in a council house

(and lifelong friend and bumchum of Rob Carehome)
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 14:22, closed)

much better, thanks

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 18 Jul 2014, 14:58, closed)

You, and your friends are pricks.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Mon 21 Jul 2014, 8:14, closed)