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This is a question Public Transport Trauma

Completely Underwhelmed writes, "I was on a bus the other day when a man got on wearing shorts, over what looked like greeny grey leggings. Then the stench hit me. The 'leggings' were a mass of open wounds, crusted with greenish solidified pus that flaked off in bits as he moved."

What's the worst public transport experience you've ever had?

(, Thu 29 May 2008, 15:13)
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YAY!
I'd kiss you all but I'd probably get herpes.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:42, 76 replies)
not from me, darling
but have a *hug* anyway

Feeling all warm and contented, like a cat snoozing in a patch of sunshine.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:43, closed)
*gives TWW the herpes*
*snogs BGB*

Phew!
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)
Ain't it grand.
Being back home
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:44, closed)
good grief
five minutes and it's descending into a veritable orgy.

*passes round precautionary antibiotics*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:45, closed)
@BGB
does that mean you don't just object to sex?

edit - or object to just sex?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)
I feel a smutfest coming on...
Take it away Al.....
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:46, closed)
^ Thank me.
It was all my doing.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:48, closed)
Some scared Texan
fixed it after hearing that BGB, K2k6 and myself were on the way over. With weapons.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:49, closed)
@Kaol
I've always thought of you as a ruby slipper wearer.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:49, closed)
yay, woo!
big snogs all round
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:50, closed)
Woo. Yay. Etc
Excellent. Back home again. High five, TWW, BGB. The threat of violence against the Texans seems to have done the trick.

My mum told me a story once about going out to watch the streetlights go on at the end of the war. It feels a bit like that at the moment.

*wipes away tear*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:53, closed)
@Al
I never say no to sex.....with the right guy and I will shortly be seeing the right guy so I'm a happy bunny.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:54, closed)
@BGB
Hope it goes well, are you going to see TRL while you're over there or does your sex pilgrimage not take you near his neck of the woods?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:56, closed)
bah
someone could have told me we were back

I've missed out on a whole 5 minutes of b3ta time!

although I've found out I actually have a deadline much sooner than I thought, so maybe it was a good thing....
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:58, closed)
Thank fuck that's sorted, at least partly.
I'm very grateful to Rob for putting up the temporary site, but much happier to be in here. BB forums are shit.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 14:58, closed)
@Al
I will be seeing TRL when I'm over there as he plays a crap game of pool and gets drunk very easily *smile*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:01, closed)
I think we should
all have a warm and fuzzy group hug.

*hugs entire QOTW crowd*

*rejoices*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:01, closed)
*Sings*
The sun will come out tomorrow
Bet your bottom dollar...that tomorrow...
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:03, closed)
*wipes cake off self*
hmmm, good to be back...
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:03, closed)
Mmmmm
*enjoys the sensation of warm cake on his naked body*

oh sorry, I thought it was a naked hug.

*whistles*

tomorrow, tomorrow, I love you tomorrow, you're only a day away!
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:04, closed)
'Tis true...
I'm pretty lame at pool as a rule, and not being British I drink less than you lot.

However, I do still own one of the most bad-ass cues anywhere. (Thank you, Emmett...)
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:05, closed)
@ TRL
Don't worry, you can now swing your handbag with the best of us.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:06, closed)
You know
I may just have to get one before you get here, just to defend myself in proper British stylee!

(It won't cost 750 quid, though...)
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:09, closed)
@TRL
Defend yourself from who? surely you don't mean me : (
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:11, closed)
TRL
you should ensure that you have a bow tie handy as well. A certain formality exists in handbag fighting, you know. Like the Queensbury rules, but without the gloves.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:13, closed)
@TRL
I don't think rswipe uses that one as her defence handbag.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:15, closed)
@MM
I think it's her pulling handbag. She gets a better class of lay when she's out with that bag.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:16, closed)
Okay then...
Handbag (big sensible one like the Queen always carries), bow tie, hat like a flowerpot (to go with the handbag), walking stick, braces, monocle... what all am I missing?

Oh yes- cuppa and a posh biscuit!
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:18, closed)
.
@ancrenne: Yes, I'm worried too, but never mind...

Let's get naked and covered in cake.
It's better than drowning in the blue-forum'd lake.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:18, closed)
Are you insinuating
that rachelswipe is some sort of handbag whore?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:18, closed)
really
it should be an umbrella rather than a walking stick...
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:19, closed)
@MM
We've all been handbag whores at some time in our lives.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:20, closed)
And a bowler hat
rather than a flowerpot.

And you should have an elegantly trimmed moustache (just the moustache).
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:21, closed)
Question
how does handbag whoring work?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:21, closed)
I am a shoe whore
but I have never touched handbags.

You can look at my Vivienne Westwood boots if you like...
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:21, closed)
And of course
rubbers!

Wait, though- over there rubbers aren't condoms, are they?

And a brelly and some tweed and a bag of Jelly Babies in a pocket...

...good god, I know far too much about British stereotypes for my own good.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:22, closed)
@MM
Oh wow! Vivienne Westwood boots *dribbles*

My feet are too big for fashionable footwear so I crave bags.

Edit: My friend got me a Westwood face cloth from Japan recently.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:23, closed)
@ancrenne
Do you think we should set up a QOTWoholics anonymous?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:27, closed)
@TRL
I take it by rubbers you mean galoshes, rather than johnnies, or a round of bridge?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:28, closed)
I've heard the term "rubber"
used to name things you pull on over your shoes, erasers and condoms. It wouldn't surprise me to find it has a dozen other applications as well.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:30, closed)
You could also
get some Blakeys. They are a metal insert that you got in the heal of your brogues to prolong the sole. They made a clinky noise when you walked.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:32, closed)
@Al
What, you mean seggs?

Or tackets?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:35, closed)
@ancrenne
F5 Thursdays or Naked Thursdays? I know - lets do both. That way, I'll have more choice for how I press my F5 key.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:36, closed)
Rubber?
It's also a round of cards or is it a cricketing term?

I watch too many Noel Coward films.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:37, closed)
Actually, it's pronounced roo-bear
and it refers to the mating call of the african spotted flea.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:38, closed)
@MM
How can you tell if a flea has spots on it.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:40, closed)
@BGB
with my flea microscope, naturally.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:41, closed)
"The f5 Naked Thursday Nimble Fingered b3tans' club"
I'm the king of this club. Surely.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:44, closed)
@Kaol
And who will corroborate your claim.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:45, closed)
@ancrenne
Nimble-fingered and naked. I like the sound of that.

As for the other days, here's what I suggest we call them.

Serious Friday.
Catch up with work I was meant to be doing during the week Saturday.
Catch up with work I was meant to be doing during the week and catch up with work I was meant to be doing during the week Saturday Sunday.
Procrastination Monday.
Newbie Tuesday.
Wank Wednesday.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:45, closed)
Yay!
Not only is b3ta back today but I also found 2 bags of midget gems whilst tidying my room this morning!
What a cracking day it's been!
Hello everybody again!
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:46, closed)
@BGB
Everyone who I've ever beaten to first posting on a QOTW.

Especially Enzyme and the Penguin Of Death.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:47, closed)
@Lucy
Midget gems.....you had to say those two little words...didn't you.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 15:51, closed)
"Midget gems"?
Sounds like dwarf porn or something...
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:04, closed)
@Ancrenne
I read that as bestower of titties.


I have a filthy mind.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:10, closed)
"Kaol is clearly King of the World"
Yes indeed.
I don't have floppy hair though.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:26, closed)
Now hold on
just one cotton pickin minute here.

We appear to be dangerously close to herasy. You seem to be leaving the one true friggin messiah. The one who promised to return during the second coming and show both her tits and her arse when she hits 1000 posts.

BGB, as chief inquisitor of frigstianity you should be most ashamed.

Shame, all of you. Shame.

*dons cassock*

*buggers sacrificial goat*

*felates sacrificial monkey*

*frottages on cake*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:33, closed)
You are Alan Titchmarsh!
And I claim my five pounds vile satanic temptress.

I always knew this day of temptation would come. Begone, and tempt my loins not with that lovely juicy goatey cakey monkeyness.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:39, closed)
Oh hell, I can give you those pics.
That's what you've been waiting for? She's shown them to me- here are some pics for you of both her tits and her ass.

Anything else you wanted to see of her? Perhaps her mimsy?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:40, closed)
I'm not sure if I should
Continue my Cult on this board, or not.

I might wait for the other board to die down, and then take it over.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:44, closed)
Wow.
If her ass looks that fine in a photo I can't wait to meet her in real life.

Surely those tits can't be real though?
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:44, closed)
@Kaol
Do what you want on the other board. I'm keeping this one warm for the Flowing-Robe clad Frigging Messiah of Bodily Abuse.
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 16:55, closed)
@BGB
Sorry but I had to share my joy with somebody! TWO whole unopened bags! Marvellous.
*offers gems around*
(, Tue 3 Jun 2008, 18:31, closed)

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