Knights Templar, Chancery Lane - might be a bit long
I have a few, including the weekly harassment of Gonch from Grange Hill, the once-in-a-lifetime "pound a pint of stella" night (terrible experiment never to be repeated), and the ale-swigging Japanese tour group.

But this is my main one. The facts are 100% true.

I was in there after work one Friday, and it was packed as ever. We noticed one guy though with a video camera sticking out of his bag. He seemed to be pointing it under the tables.

So - pervert or thief? He did this for a little while before someone asked him what he was up to. "I just bought this" he said; "I want to show it to a friend".
"But its old?" we replied.
"Ah, well I bought it second hand".

We thought this was pretty dubious but let it go.
Anyway 10 minutes later he was at it again, filming people while trying to hide the camera.

"fuck this" said my colleague, and manhandled the man out of the pub, ignoring his protestations of "I'm allowed to do this".

Just as he did this, another man walked into the middle of the room, started shouting, stuck his hand inside his shirt, and pulled his own, beating heart out. A girl screamed "oh my God he's dead!".

But he wasn't; it was gurning merkin cockmunch David Blaine - he was going into that box the next day, and was after some publicity. Except it was a big waste of time, because just minutes previously we'd booted his cameraman out of the pub.
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:02, 8 replies)

fucking brilliant

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:07, closed)

*CLICK*
Anyone who has hampered that bell-end in his quest to irritate the world gets my vote.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:07, closed)

This
is exactly why I clicked, too.
(jessemoya, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 17:25, closed)

Well done!!!
Remember making a point of having my sandwiches in full view of that tosser when he was in the box... and I work in Euston... well worth the trip down there to see the vacant look on his face. That man is, officially, a cunt...
( SpankyHanky, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:18, closed)

I don't normally read tabloids...
..but I made an exception on the day one of them used an R/C helicopter to taunt him with a burger. Comedy genius!
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 16:04, closed)

Well done!
You confounded a git-wizard! Have a click.
( Amish Information Systems hates misplaced, commas, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:22, closed)

Clicked
Shazzam, Click!
(Wavo Did not touch it, it was like that when I got here, Mon 9 Feb 2009, 14:52, closed)

Excellent work
Made all the more pleasing by the fact that the Knights Templar is my work local.
(annexed, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 13:17, closed)