Monty Boyce reminded me of this one...

In a rather famous gay pub in Camden.

I'm pissed, as usual, and announce to the throng of beautiful people in cut off t-shirts, sporting moustaches and peaked leather caps (ok, that bit is probably bollocks), that I know a facinating fact about this pub.

It all goes a bit quiet.

And I proceed to tell a room full of incredibly large and scary looking homosexual men that Dennis Neilsen, the serial killer, used to pick up his victims in this place to take back to his to meet a grizzly end.

I even remember proclaiming: "Isn't that brilliant!!!"

In my defense, I was pissed.

Thankfully no one hit me. Nice crowd. Though someone did try and chat me up in the toilets later. They looked over at my John Thomas while I was stood next to them at the urinal.

"Nice cock, can I stroke it?"

I declined, though it was nice to be asked.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:05, 6 replies)

You
must have said a witty retort to that one!
(Fuckarma was masturbating into your handbag, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 14:53, closed)

I told him
that if I let him everybody would want a go. He laughed and reached out to stroke my mini me and for a split second the only thing that went through my head was: Wahayyy!!! Gonna get a handjob!!! Then I remembered I wasnt gay, zipped my wee chap away, and went to get more beer.
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:24, closed)

.
Why did you change it from "can i sit on it" to "can i stroke it"? which would you prefer if you had to choose?
( browser still relating boring anecdotes into a void on, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:39, closed)

I remembered he
offered a handjob and not bum sex.

I obviously wasnt that much of a catch.

If I had to have a gay experience I might as well have a cock up my arse. Why beat about the bush? Well, there wouldn't be one of those though would there? Hmmm....
( SpankyHanky, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 15:50, closed)

I'm clicking....
....but only for this, and the related context...

"I declined, though it was nice to be asked."

*clicks*
( The Pollitt chooses to listen to Enya on, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 16:27, closed)

Im clicking
because you mentioned serial killers.
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Tue 10 Feb 2009, 22:18, closed)