My favourite pub
was one I encountered while holidaying in the Algarve. It's called The Bull.

A picture of this establishment can be found here (SFW). As you can see, it serves Boddingtons, one of my most favouritest of the beer families.

This is unusual for Portuguese bars, as I'm sure you can imagine, them being a far cry from rainy Manchester where I first fell in love with the drink, so you can imagine my delight when, after a fairly tedious day avoiding the mouth breathers on the beach, I walked in to be greeted by that familiar yellow and black pump.

At first I didn't hold out a lot of hope, knowing that some beers just don't travel well, so when that first silky sip slid down my expectant oesophagus I was practically creaming (do you see what I did there?) my pants in delight when it tasted every bit as good as I remember from my student days.

I went on to enjoy one or two more and got chatting with the proprietor, a short bloke called "Pablo" with a bright shirt and a small brown moustache (yes I realise he was a walking cliché, I too found it amusing). He spoke very good English, which was just as well as my Portuguese is very bad, limited as it is to ordering a few meals and the universal sign language for "beer please".

As the evening wore on I became increasingly distracted by the irritating whine of a bunch of Scottish people and their kids who were sitting outside, and had obviously been there for some time as they were slurring their words and looked like they were having trouble focusing as they poured pint after pint of wife beater down their lobster red throats.

The kids were even worse, little shits running round the tables, banging chairs and screeching at the top of their voices. I raised my eyebrows to Pablo and shrugged in that universal way as to indicate "what a bunch of total cunts but what can you do eh?". He grinned in the universal reply of "yeah, total fucktards, but they keep paying so who am I to judge".

I smiled and nodded to indicate that "yeah, good business I guess" with a one sided smirk and tilt of the head to say "they'll get theirs eventually the twats." Pablo let out a hearty chuckle which told me "maybe, my friend, maybe" and poured me another pint.

"This one is on me my friend" he said as he put it on the bar. I thanked him profusely and we continued to banter until finally my drooping eyelids told me it was time to go home.

I really enjoyed that pub.

Funnily enough I saw a picture of Pablo in the paper shortly after returning home. You can see it here(also SFW). I like to think those scottish twats got theirs in the end mind.
(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:48, 10 replies)

Ah...
It's been a while since one of these.
Nicely done!
*clicks*
( Cawl, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:55, closed)

I felt the time was right

(Bazongaloid, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:57, closed)

*click*
Now that's good!
( SpankyHanky, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 16:57, closed)

Subtle
I like it

*clicks*
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 17:00, closed)

Tresbian
.
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 17:32, closed)

That was fucking genius
..I believed it most of the way through and thought it was a damn well-told story. Then the punchline was unexpected and fucking funny.

A fine effort sir.
(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:41, closed)

...?
I missed something...?
(idle insomniac enjoys listening to Sigur Rós at stupid hours, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 8:12, closed)

you need to look at the pictures
it's a visual joke.
(Bazongaloid, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:03, closed)

I twigged as soon as Portugal was mentioned
Then I forgot, as I enjoyed the story.

Then you got me. Nicely done!
( Labia Majora You keep on talking but it makes no sense at all, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:43, closed)

Heehee
( whenanimalsattackhumans clad in global hypercolour, Thu 12 Feb 2009, 10:47, closed)