Dropping the kids off
Pink and golden shimmers flecked the sky, tingeing fluffy, sweeping clouds with a magical glow. The scent of freshly felled pine trees was reminiscent in my nostrils as we drove away from Thrunton Woods. DG and I had enjoyed a hike with Mildew (our dog) and some "golden time" in the forest, drinking in the view of the rolling Rothbury hills. A thoroughly soul-lifting day it had been.

As had become habit on a Sunday afternoon, we stopped at the local Tap & Spile for a pint with Legless on the way home; the equivalent of Wallace & Grommit ending a grand day out with cheese & crackers.

We greeted eachother with the usual snogs, beer & crisps (pork scratchings for Mildew). Still clenching my pelvic floor muscles with an iron grip, Legless was about to regail us with a tale....

"Hang on two minutes Leggy," I interupted, "I must drop the kids off *EDIT* in the pool first....."

And off I scampered to the loo. Which was directly behind our seats. With relief, I released DG's soft vanilla emulsion into the pan, did a quick clean up with a Lidl's baby wipe and returned to my freshly poured pint. Eyes fixed on the foamy goodness, salivating in anticipation of the first mouthful, it took a moment for me to register why our company were all spluttering beer through their nostrils, spoiling the opened packets of beefy snacks.

They'd heard the spladoosh from behind them.
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 18:51, 10 replies)

My love.
Your all women and some : )
( girlinthehole, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 19:02, closed)

Oh I see
You're female. So when you poo it isn't funny it's wrong and bad.
(popiellajones, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 19:41, closed)

get a grip

(raymond "three griddle pans" luxury yacht lovin' the christmas action, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 20:16, closed)

Psst
I don't think it was poo.

Almost literally dropping the kids off...

(Unless I got the euphemism wrong. Hard to think it would be that audible...)
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 21:55, closed)

It definitely wasn't poo
Unless I've been doing something wrong... and the toilets were very close.
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:07, closed)

I figured it must be...
But I don't think I would have made the connection if I heard that. Unless there was also a sound, as if millions of voices suddenly cried out in terror, and were suddenly silenced
(Richy_T hundreds if not thousands of dollars, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 22:19, closed)

Actually
You said:

"I must drop the kids off in the pool"

Cheers
( Legless Mister Stabby - shanks for the memory, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 23:01, closed)

Ah, you may be right Leggy
It was a few years ago, after all...

Still, nearly as funny as when K commented that the woman in brown was wearing clothes that matched her dog...
( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Wed 11 Feb 2009, 23:31, closed)

Legless
Yep, you're right.
Hang on two minutes mate, and I'll edit it...
( Tourette's ( . )( . ) has a monkey hair in her fried egg, Wed 11 Feb 2009, 23:42, closed)

Beautifully written as always.
*clicks*
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Feb 2009, 9:52, closed)