It happened in a pub
Which used to be a serious shit hole. Me and a mate were having a quiet drink while some sort of party was going on in the back room. It was a lively night and someone put Robert Palmers Addicted to Love on the Juke Box. Being the hilarious joker that i am after a few pints me and my mate started singing along except changing the words to Addicted to Muff. All fairly harmless except one of the scrunchied up girls from the party gave us a really funny look as she walked past us.

We carried on drinking blisfully unaware of the impending shit storm about to occur. The double doors to the party room flew open and five knuckle dragging neanderthals lumbered through them followed closely by the lady who was pointing at me and screaming hysterically.
I gathered by the way the knuckle dragging boyfriend backed by his mates had grabbed hold of me and tried to drag me outside that the lady in question had somehow thought that our drunken slurring was a sophisticated attempt to woo her. Given that the method of wooing she was usually accustomed too probably involved her boyfriend spitting on his hand before he fingered her this was probably only to be expected.

The girl was kicking up a serious fuss, The landlady was yelling at us to take it outside in case her crappy furniture got broken up in the process of me getting a pummlling, my mate (who was to be fair to him known as Flea as he was around 7 stone wet through) was no where to be seen and worse the double doors kept swinging open as more of the party goers arrived at the scene asking "where the trouble was" and intent on giving me the kicking i obviously so richly deserved.

To say i was bricking myself was an understatement but thankfully for me this tale doesn't end with myself being beaten like a Chipperfield Monkey.
One of the reinforcements from the party was a guy who I used to go to school with who recognised me and defused the situation grabbing hold of the girls boyfriend and telling him to stop being a twat, that i was ok and there was no need for trouble. The girls father also turned up at this point telling her to calm down and stop being so fucking stupid. He apologised to me saying that she was always the same when she had had a few and that she was a trouble causing bitch at the best of times.
Gradually the people dispersed and we got out of there pretty quickly my face if not my dignity intact.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 15:25, 5 replies)

"Given that the method of wooing she was usually accustomed too probably involved her boyfriend spitting on his hand before he fingered her this was probably only to be expected"
made me LOL

But there really is NO excuse singing Robert Palmer even in jest
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 16:27, closed)

not even if you're sneaking Sally through the alley?

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 16:34, closed)

No need to be coy, Roy.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 16:36, closed)

Hop on the bus, Gus.

(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 22:24, closed)

I certainly haven't sung it since

(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Fri 27 Sep 2013, 17:08, closed)