Pissed up....wearing a long black dress.....red wig.....in Newcastle....on my stag
Some local takes exception to my "cosmopolitan" attitude and in front of the entire stag doo comes over to me and full on gives me a load of shit. I, after a fair few shandy's at this point, attempt to enter into negociation with the wee scamp as I admired his attempt at a moustache and the daring combo with a topman shirt. I vocally expressed my admiration. He no happy and popped me on square on the nose, to which I retorted "you're supposed to knock me out not touch me up". Poor lad ran off confused as hell, pausing only to throw coins at me, soon after he was chased off by 20 of my mates.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 21:55, 18 replies)

This didn't really happen

( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 22:03, closed)

Granted, the line is stolen from Lock stock......
....but I assure you it did.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 22:08, closed)

Yeah.
I had something similar - except after he punched me I said "Are you done now?"
(JohabMorelli is spenging merrily away, Thu 24 Nov 2011, 23:17, closed)

I had something similar happen tp me,
except after he punched me, I fell over bleeding and cried like a girl.
( The Awful Puppy Bakery is still bored, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 0:05, closed)

so why exactly were you in drag?

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 1:58, closed)

It's probably some nefarious plot to get all noncey. You should decry him immediately.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 3:06, closed)

That is frankly ridiculous.
In fact, the very fact that you mentioned it at all is worrying. I know what Freud would say about you.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Fri 25 Nov 2011, 5:01, closed)

Nice tits?

(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:31, closed)

and something about wanting to screw your parents.

(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 27 Nov 2011, 8:22, closed)

"on my stag"
C'mon it's every blokes fantasy to get all gussied up, get sickeningly drunk & and end up half-naked chained to a lamp-post.
Why do you think I've been married so many times?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:25, closed)

wouldn't it be cheaper
to just go to a gay bar?
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Sun 27 Nov 2011, 8:24, closed)

because cross dressing doesn't make one homosexual
and where did you get the idea that his evening was any more expensive than going to a gay bar?
you clearly didn't read the op thoroughly, if you had, you'd note that the wee scamp actually threw coins at atdotslash and therefore it was a financialy beneficial encounter
( real i'm not happy 'til you're not happy, Sun 27 Nov 2011, 15:29, closed)

nice one.
except that I wasn't replying to OP.
(Gritty, yet fluffy. kipperpillock is obsessed with me =), Mon 28 Nov 2011, 0:57, closed)

Mate of mine VERY stupidly had his do the night before the big day.
He had to borrow some clothes & money so he could ring his missus from Kalgoorlie (several hundred kilometers from the church).
Amazing the fucking insanely stupid ideas a bunch of pissed blokes can conjure up!
EDIT: I flatly refused to have any part in such shenanigans but had warned said mate that having your stag-do the night before you got married was a Really Fucking Stupid Idea.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Fri 25 Nov 2011, 7:30, closed)

Interesting side bar to this story.....
....we went to the races, me still in drag, and I won 2k on the GG's. I bought everyone a bottle of champers and we all sat on the steps drinking it from the bottle. I had to stuff all the notes in my handbag and two high class pozzers tried to rob me.
( The only Dave is pushing things forward, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 8:51, closed)

A mate of mine is a firefighter
So, naturally, on his stag we handcuffed him, in his boxers, to a railing in the centre of town, before calling the fire brigade. Then hid around the corner to watch the fun as his station mates turned up...
(moon monkey is busy making memories worth repressing, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:03, closed)

Even if you don't end up chained to an orangutan in the mail carriage on the night-train to Mallaig
it's still horrible having to get married with a stinking hangover.
(richardm, Fri 25 Nov 2011, 9:43, closed)

That was no orang-utan, that was my ex-wife you bastard
Etc.
(Reverend Fister "a disciplined fuckwit", Fri 25 Nov 2011, 15:32, closed)