A history of cock
I have so far stuck my cock in....

Melons (See "Desperate Times" or page 3 here),
Virgins (see "Loosing my Virginity")
Napkin rings (see "Scars with History" and "Wanking Disasters" or page 3 again... )
People I've loved (See "Worst Sex Ever")
People I've hated (See "Worst Sex Ever")
A whole host of nice arses
A mate's girlfriend (See "I'm going to hell))
Oranges,
A hole bored in a potato (don't ask)
The twisted sleeve of a T-shirt.
My own fist,
Munters,
Swedes,
Brits,
Germans
A bloke
A shammy-leather,
Sponges,
3 lasses in 8 hours
2 lasses at a time
A vibrating lego contraption I made at the age of 13,
An oven glove
A pillow
Some underwear
Countless socks


I have had my penis pierced a few times (see body modifications)
I've shown it to many people online
I've stirred drinks with it
I've made cock-puppets
There's even a frikkin' photo of it on Wikipedia...
I've shot cum into my own face on by accident...
...And then deliberately for my own amusement.



But this question - much like my cock - must be aimed at someone else, because I'm proud of it all.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:47, 16 replies)

Photo???
Wikipedia???
( Undercovercarrot got done for gross misconduct on..., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:48, closed)

Your cock is the king of all cocks.
Huzza!
( girlinthehole, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:50, closed)

Heh,
:)
You make me feel restrained.
( crackhouseceilidhband Fuck off back to Mumsnet, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:51, closed)

mmm bondage
;o)
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:05, closed)

The birth of a new euphemism...
As well travelled as Humpty's cock!
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:51, closed)

What exactly is a cock puppet?

( ..wil, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:53, closed)

you need to look up...
"puppetry of the penis"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:54, closed)

LEGO?!!
Owwww!!!!
(Colonel Santiago Introduced surprised kitty to the world., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:37, closed)

No pain
No Gain.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:42, closed)

Ahem!
It's spelt "Losing."

Sorry to be a pedant, but that one gets my goat for some reason.

Otherwise a very impressive list. I think I'll click that.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:39, closed)

pedenatry of the penis
Would it help you if I though of it as "setting it loose"?

As in "loosing reams of hot cream into the depths of her mimsy"
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:42, closed)

You can
set it loose in my back garden if you want.
(LongJohnBaldry, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 13:48, closed)

Nice work!
Glad to be in the presence of another bonafide pervert!
( SpankyHanky, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:05, closed)

2 lasses at a time?
Do you have multiple penises (peni?) or can you somehow split it in two? Either way, stil very impressive!
(Barry Chuckle's Moustache, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:28, closed)

I count..
...alternating between one mimsy* and another at a frequency of approximately 1Hz to be "at the same time"

*Or arses... 'twas a good night.
( Humpty Dumpty was Pushed Is unaware of having any limits., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 14:40, closed)

Lucky
Bastard!!
(RVD420 has his world coming down on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 17:44, closed)