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This is a question The thing I've been most ashamed of doing with a penis

Confess. Female b3tans may need to improvise.

(, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 12:13)
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A Cautionary tale
Once again.. there's no shame here, but if my life of experimental self-gratification can act as a "what not to do with your cock" example to others, then I'm glad to be of service.


I never realised that the 'cock rings' that I regularly saw in magazines (as a teenager) were adjustable so that they could be released.
You learn these things by experimenting -
Or as you could say - the hard way.

I was a Teenage lad (shortly after the blissful discovery of the "orgasm") and as you do, I slipped a napkin ring around my todger. You just gotta find out how it feels.... right?

Mid session, the surrogate napkin suddenly became too big for its ring... Being the smart lad I was, I reasoned "It'll go down if I get turned off".. so, 10 minutes of mentally picturing my grandmother naked should do the trick... but No! I was in fact increasing in size.

I was HORRIFIED: I obviously harboured disturbing subconscious thoughts for my Gran. Subsequently I took no pleasure in the sudden and painful understanding of the bio-mechanics behind my now monsterous and painful hardon: so long as the napkin ring stayed... so would this monstrosity..

You know how a love-bite/hicky causes surface capillaries to burst and make your skin go a blotchy red/purple? well... my Dick was VERY much like that... ALL OVER.

I was terrified, and in my moment of need turned to my trusty Minicraft Drill... Two cutting disks later, the pewter napkin ring was only HALF off!!

Cutting disks cause HEAT. Pewter is a fairly soft metal, so it doesn't actually cut well.
HEAT. did I mention that? HEAT!!! Heat in a metal ring, Painfully tight around my best friend.


so... Water. More water. cut. Water. CUT. JEEEEZ.

You know something has gone seriously wrong on the road to self-gratification when you're naked, on your knees with cock in one hand, electric cutting tool in the other, and wearing goggles.

So... cutting bit by bit I manage to make decent cut, gently working it until I had wafer thin cut-line... progress, sweet progress. And then it happened. The disk snagged and bit in.

As if the cutting disk shattering and forcing wafer-thin shards of metal into my tadger wasn't enough, I then panicked and used pliers to rip the rest of the napkin ring open.

Pinching skin between plier and inside of ring, and THEN badly cutting myself with the sharp edges.

Compounding my misery, pain and horror, my MUM came up to see why I was "making toys" at 2:00am on a school night.


LMAO. let's just say "ribbed for her pleasure"


As some of you know, I'm into piercing. Rest assured that watching a tattooed bloke grasp your manhood and shove a 3.2mm needle clean through it is a walk in the park.... Well, it is if compared to watching blood gush from your shaft as you use oily pliers to tease out shards of pewter napkin ring and crushed lumps of ceramic cutting disk.


Apologies for bumps, and blatant re-post.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:00, closed)
for the pearost. Still mad me laugh so hard that a bungee bogey came out.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:18, closed)
horrifically like a similar incident I had involving my prepubescent underdeveloped cock and a hard disk platter.

I didn't learn, and repeated the exercise a few years later with a loudspeaker bass port.
(, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 16:16, closed)
That's got to hurt.

*cringes as he clicks*
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 12:42, closed)
fucking hell I want to vomit
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 14:17, closed)
My. Goodness. Aargh!
(, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 20:27, closed)

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