I don't think I've done anything that I'd be ashamed of
Maybe I have no shame, maybe I'm boring? Anyway, I do have a tale with a tenuous link.......

Way way back when I still lived with my parents ( I must have been what? 19?) We used to have a window cleaner. He managed to break his arm somehow, and his wife took over. She was a kind of no-nonsense woman, and my family where on decent enough terms with her and her husband.

Anyway, it's summer, and I've forgotten that the windows even get cleaned, let alone that they're getting cleaned in the morning. So I wake up, stark naked due to the fact it's summer, sporting the traditional morning wood and stumble over to get my clothes, passing the window. I look up, and there she is, cleaning my fucking window. Our eyes meet, breifly, and she looks away long enough for me to recoil in terror and grab my clothes and hurredly dress.

I wait upstairs untill I reckon she must have gone, and head downstairs. I walk past the open living room door, rolling a cigarette as I go. And the window cleaner is standing there, chatting to my mum. Again, she catches my eye and I feel probably more embarrased than I've ever felt before! So yes, not a great story, granted. But it's as close to feeling ashamed about doing something with my penis as I've come.

EDITED - at Porkylips request. Imagine a jaunty Ukalele tune playing in the background. It helps.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:15, 7 replies)

The obvious question is...
... was she fit???
(Ghostlight, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:24, closed)

And
unless porn has lied to me over the years, after your mum went to the shops or wherever the window cleaning lady (a good looking, buxom blonde, for some reason wearing a gingham shirt knotted under the boobs and Daisy-Duke style shorts) proceeded to introduce you to the world of men. Possibly with some hilarious consequences?
( Funkenschlag still likes dogs more than cats, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:24, closed)

Sadly no......
She was a bit old for me to start with! I guess she was pretty, but unfortunatly it was real life, so the only conclusion was that I felt much more uncomftorble when I bumped into her, either cleaning the windows, or at the local shop.
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:26, closed)

This needs
More George Formby.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:34, closed)

Enough George Formby?
:)
(Fredz A graveyard of hopes, a dump of ambition, Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:40, closed)

That's better
I can hear the cheeky young lad strumming away on his Ukelele string now. Good background music for your tail tale.
(porkylips looks better as the sun goes down., Thu 12 Mar 2009, 15:51, closed)

tales like this-
-can only explain why our windowcleaner appears to charge danger money. Because it sure as shite isn't used on quality window cleaning expenses, like 'taking the time to do a proper job' and 'rinsing off the dirty suds'.
(The Incredible Sulk Finally remembered his password on, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 2:30, closed)