Mars Bar Party
I once had a girlfriend that was extremely adventurous. She used to suggest all sorts of nifty things for us to try. One such time, she had the urge to ‘try’ a Mars bar. So I made the necessary preparations, went over to the local shop and bought a few king size mars bars (before they started doing the rubbish duo ones), organised some towels for the bed, and got some wet wipes handy.

So she got herself into position on the bed, and I did my best to satisfy her cocoa based urges. For some reason this got her very hot indeed, both literally and er, literally. We ended up humping like jousting tractors and there was a terrible mess but I had had the foresight to put the towels down so I thought ah fuck it, and we both collapsed and fell asleep.

I started having a really goddamn sexy dream where my lovely girlfriend was sucking me off to within an inch of my purple life, and eventually drifted into consciousness to find out she was sucking and licking me in for real in the darkness.

“Oooh darling” I moaned as she went to town on me. I thought that she might be the one, that I had never found such a girl that was so dirty, so sexy, and so willing to go down so that I could get up.

“Oooh how can you be so thorough, you aren’t missing a single square millimetre?”

“Eh?” she said from where she was next to me.

Chills tingled down my spine.

I turned up the light a notch on the touch dimmer light thing.

Billy my springer spaniel was slurping the chocolate from my wang with his rough tongue.

It still felt so good.

My girlfriend looked down at what Billy was doing and gently started to finger herself, and we both watched, mesmerised, while Billy brought me the brink and beyond.

He ate that, too.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 16:46, 6 replies)

LOL!
Hoya!

Wicked and hyper filthy...

By the way, after being given head by your spaniel, did you do your bird doggy fashion??? ;-)

Be funky

M A D
(MAD Life -The Best Antidote To Happiness, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 18:53, closed)

Thanks dude!
No after that I let the dog do my girlfriend doggy style and I went to the lounge to watch tv and eat the remaining mars bars.
(powervator and NONE SHALL PASS, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 19:15, closed)

Oh!
Mon Dieu!.

Er, that's about it really.
( Ghoti Fingers, Fri 13 Mar 2009, 19:41, closed)

That's disgusting!
You shouldn't feed dogs chocolate, it poisons them. :)
(speedevil, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 12:13, closed)

Hm, of everything in that post you chose to raise that point
hmm
( monkeybananaraffle, Sat 14 Mar 2009, 17:13, closed)

this is sick
and you should be jailed. It's also fucking great!!! *clickety click click clock*
(Mr.Dog was in love again on, Mon 16 Mar 2009, 18:57, closed)