not sure if a pearoast but ...
Walking to college one morning feeling slightly iffy after a night on Jack Daniels in a mate’s house.

Oh maybe a nice fart will help, it was then half way across a football field that I realised what I thought was a fart wasn't. This was going to be bad, very very bad.

I started running towards the building and threw open the door. My palms were sweaty and I could feel the clench I had slowly letting go.

Dashing through faster than anyone has ever ran through a college I get to the toilets and go for the nearest one.

Seeing the toilet my insides started getting ready to evacuate as I scrambled for the lock and then worked on my belt. Time was running out and my body was of the opinion that there was a toilet why can't I let go yet. My hands fumbled and just managed to bare my arse and get it over the porcelain throne.

I erupted, pebbledashing the inside with a brown scattering of excretion. The relief I felt I had never felt before or since.

I do feel sorry for someone a few stalls down who thought it was quite funny at the start till the smell hit him and his HAHAHA turned to HURK, followed by coughing and a quick exit.

Length? To messy to measure
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:46, 5 replies)

You do know that Erotic Fiction didn't win this week?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 14:57, closed)

It didn't?
But I have 17 more parts
(Samantha Bricks Better half done a poo on, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 15:28, closed)

My missus is currently struggling like feck to walk
after an ankle operation. So when I drop a flat napalm next to her she can't run away. Made her puke on Tuesday :D
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 15:01, closed)

You are quite the catch!

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 16:11, closed)

*blushes*
....sorry, *flushes*
( Jeccius Steam Borderlands 2 junkie, Sat 29 Dec 2012, 1:27, closed)