I recently got farmed out from my cosy den in the intensive care unit at the Local Hospital Where I Work to one of the medical wards as we were overstaffed and they were understaffed.
One of the gents I tasked to look after was a proper tough old countryman in his 80s who, like a Frenchman from the 1980's, loved to pee outdoors.
Rain, wind or shine he'd much rather take a slash outdoors by his sh*d than bother climbing stairs, pissing into the bog, flushing and then coming downstairs.

He was recently admitted to hospital with a nasty case of heart failure, a condition which had caused a load of fluid to accumulate in his body, particularly on his lungs, which had the effect of giving him a chest infection, some nasty breathlessness and, as I was to discover, an acute confusional state.
Treatment for this is antbiotics to treat the infection and furosemide to clear the accumulated fluid off of his chest. Basically, you piss yourself(not literally) better.

Imagine if you can then, the mixed feelings I had towards the end of a rather hectic 12 hour day shift, as I watched this delightful old boy, by now feeling much better thanks to being able to breathe considerably
easier, clamber out of bed unassisted, stride purposefully down the ward then proceed to not so much spend a penny as blow his life savings all over the ward's newly erected and decorated Christmas tree.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 23:13, 7 replies)

I can't believe you've done a geriatric story with nothing stuck up bums.
Sad times.
( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 23:23, closed)

I like this.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 23:37, closed)

I like this
Partly for the lovely story, also for the comparison between a penny and life-savings when it comes to PISS (BOILING or otherwise).
( Cadmus has teh uplikn coeds at, Fri 21 Dec 2012, 23:39, closed)

HURRAH FOR THE OLD CURMUDGEON'S GRRRMAS SPIRIT!
:D
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:32, closed)

*stamp of approval*

( Grrrmachine the indifference engine, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 10:39, closed)

How do they choose the one to go and work on the other ward?

Do they identify the most competent nurse, who's great to have around, popular with colleagues and patients, and say that's the one we'd like to get rid of for a few days?
( Ring Of Fire A petty, drooling belming butthurt retard., Sun 23 Dec 2012, 17:23, closed)

All that work helping him get better and then he goes and electrocutes himself :(((

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sun 30 Dec 2012, 15:05, closed)