I'm at my day job right now, what's your excuse for being an internet shut-in on a Friday night?
I'm not even going to bother asking what your excuse for being such a flailing spastic shitcunt autism crybaby mong is. It IS Grrrmas, after all.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:45, 2 replies)

Shit, sorry to disturb you, best get back to flipping those burgers. The drive-through will be fucked without your constant attention.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:48, closed)

Ah, so your excuse is that you really are too much of a blubbertits to leave the house then.
Never mind, maybe Father Grrrmas will bring you a life this year.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:51, closed)

I think you may have mistaken "reading words" for "making shit up". Would you like me to sound out the more difficult parts for you? I can do it through the intercom, if you like.

By the way - mine's a quarterpounder with cheese. I don't want it supersized though, thanks.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:54, closed)

Ahahahahah.
Yeah, I BET you don't supersize it. You probably complain that supersized is still too small.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:00, closed)

Probably, yeah! Lolz!
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:03, closed)

With your angry going to 11 like this I'm guessing
you're a bouncer?

What do you do to keep the sweat from pooling in those folds at the back of your neck?
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:55, closed)

You been wanking over my OkCupid profile again?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 0:59, closed)

I imagine he achieves this by not being a fat australian sex pest.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:02, closed)

What can one achieve by being a borderline-illiterate 'me-too'?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:03, closed)

Aren't you going to tell us?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:04, closed)

Did you just 'no u' me?
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:05, closed)

You were able to tell?

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:07, closed)

no u
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:09, closed)

You'll never know unless you try.

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:08, closed)

Awww, man you KNOW it's been my life's ambition to be a fat australian sex pest.
:(
sadtimes 2 Can.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:04, closed)

If you can transition from flipping burgers to flipping pawns, you can still live the dream.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:42, closed)

Nah, I'm not racist enough to be Australian.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 1:56, closed)

I find your crass generalisation regarding our antipodean brothers more than a little bit racist.
( Happy Phantom has been to Hastings, Brighton, and Eastbourne too, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:00, closed)

I just can't bring myself to sit around in my pants, drunk and stoned going "Yeah Bruce, the problem with them fucking Abos is they don't WANT to work, 's' blokes like ME that MADE 'Straylia?".

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:07, closed)

I know what you mean
at least you guys get to sit back in your Burberry, sinking cans of Stella and whinging about how the pakis that run the off-license down the road took your jobs.
And the weather.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:16, closed)

I love the weather.
It keeps me in a job.
( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:31, closed)

You're a mackintosh and gumboot salesman?

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:34, closed)

Novelty umbrellas actually.

( stuj (^(^;;^)^) GO TEAM SPIDERS!(^(^;;^)^), Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:35, closed)

Who exactly is it that I have pestered for sex.
Who. Exactly.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:12, closed)

What? I didn't say I was talking about you. 'Sweating like a fat Australian sex pest' is a popular British simile.
It certainly wasn't intended as a reference to your OKcupid profile
www.okcupid.com/profile/ringofyre/personality

As a matter of fact I think it's great that you're so sex-driven. Good for you.
( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:21, closed)

Truly a British phrase
"sex pest".
Says a lot about you guys actually.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:33, closed)

That we're too polite to call someone a potential rapist to their face?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 2:37, closed)

Yes 2can - you're all too polite.

(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 9:20, closed)

Oh, and I suppose it's not rude to ignore people?

( 2 Can Chunder Word to your mums, I came to prod bums, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 22:44, closed)

Actually Ringo, the fact that you Aussies had to invent the phrase 'turkey slap'
Shows that it must happen in Australia often enough that it needs a name.
(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 11:29, closed)

Oh touche
Plummie, touche.
(Misery McUglywife an attention seeking sociopathic fuckstain., Sat 22 Dec 2012, 19:29, closed)