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This is a question Relief

Last week, I thought we'd run over and killed something. After steeling myself to get out and find the body of somebody's beloved pet, I found we'd squished a bin bag. When has something turned out not as grim as you first thought?

(, Thu 20 Dec 2012, 12:38)
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Post number 100 here.
HP appears to have turned into Albert Marshmallow. He's that indifferent to BD, he's going to post a picture of him with a fat lass.
(, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 14:12, 1 reply)
He went to the trouble of shopping that enough that it isn't immediately obvious that it's shopped.
I think he might fancy me.
(, Sat 22 Dec 2012, 14:33, closed)

I think you might need a stronger prescription on those specs, BD. For one thing, it couldn't be more obviously 'shopped - and for another, you have somehow managed to assess your dribbly, gurning visage and conclude that it is in some bizarre respect fanciable. Honestly - were I to shift to the other side of the bed - I wouldn't go for a drooling cakefiend who looked like the outcome of Worzel Gummidge and Widow Twankey climbing in to that machine from "The Fly".
(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 0:32, closed)
Definitely not upset with me here, oh no.

(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 9:42, closed)

I wouldn't dare get upset with you, BD - not with your documented track record of abandoning reasonable discourse in favour of head-butting people who offend you. I would imagine, given the massive counterweight of your absurdly gargantuan chin, that your head-butts are a thing of legend.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 1:54, closed)
Dude seriously if you fancy him so much just ask him out.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:40, closed)

Much as I'd love to, I couldn't be BD's life partner - I just can't sign off on getting fucked by some sleazy weirdo at a shit internet party whilst BD is in the next room, obliviously eating cake.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:47, closed)
Blimey, proper internet upset going on here.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:14, closed)
At least he's not kept his miserable obsession going all the way to Christmas.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:28, closed)
how many keyboards did you go through to type that?

(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 10:58, closed)

I just used my normal one mate - keyboards tend to last longer when you use your fingers to type, rather than a stick attached to your forehead. Your typing style is more deadly to keyboards, due partly to the lack of tactile finesse, and partly to the copious quantities of drool - which will inevitably dribble between the keys and short out the membranes. Try using a bib.

Happy Christmas!
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:08, closed)
Why is it always drool in your posts?

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:14, closed)

It's a recent thing. I think it's because you keep responding.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:23, closed)
I think you just like talking about drool.
I expect that when you're not on here you're paying fat men to dribble on your face while you wank yourself off.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:33, closed)
Our expectations are a product of our experiences.
I wouldn't fancy yours.

EDIT: also, I don't need to pay for the attention of dribbly fat blokes. Shambo gives it up for free.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:38, closed)
Well that explains why you're stalking him

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:44, closed)

Hey, it ain't me sounding the ignore horn, pretending it was all some sort of long-term plan, then continuing to post regardless. His LOLIGNORE not withstanding, I daresay he'll be back in this thread before long.

Bit stalky, if you ask me.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 2:51, closed)
I think you've just given away the fact that you're the one who has actually ignored him, here.
There's a post of his directly under this one.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:13, closed)
A thousand words of misery on Christmas eve. Definitely not upset.
Def.In.Itely.
(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 12:21, closed)
nah, i use my phone.

(, Mon 24 Dec 2012, 15:52, closed)
I like the way the less he's bothered by something
the longer and more bitter his posts become.
(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 8:09, closed)
I like how I just called him boring and he flipped out and started internet stalking me.

(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 9:51, closed)
You're pretty irresistible.

(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 10:42, closed)
It's the chin.

(, Sun 23 Dec 2012, 11:13, closed)

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