desperation
are you stuck in a marriage of convenience raising somebody else's child on money you inherited from your mother when she committed suicide out of shame? tell us how you spend all hours of the night and day on what used to be a comedy website pleading for attention from people who regard you with disdain or undisguised disgust
(alright alright, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 10:12, Reply)

Crushed
Ever fallen in love with someone you shouldn't have fallen in love with? And if you did, did you get horribly rejected? Tell us all so we can point and laugh.
(Smale is stuffed, Thu 29 Aug 2013, 9:13, Reply)

Does anyone else notice everyone else fall asleep as soon as you walk on the train? I can't understand why.
Pregnant Lady, London
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Tue 27 Aug 2013, 13:53, Reply)

Not-stalgia
tell us why the past was a bit shit
( willenium Fist bump for verification, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 20:24, Reply)

haha Jedward, eh? What's THAT all about? hahahaha

( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 16:57, Reply)

Who's the best chinaman?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sun 25 Aug 2013, 0:35, Reply)

What is this puny human emotion you call 'upset'?

(AWESOMEB0T meddling prick, Sat 24 Aug 2013, 7:42, Reply)

Y R TRAINZ L8?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 18:08, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Isn't it annoying when the person you fancy says they have a friend you will like?
I don't want your friend, I want you, you fool.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 12:32, Reply)

Bank holiday
When graced with the perk of a day off work you only have to share with everyone else in the country how have you benefitted from time off?
Were you stuck on the motorway for hours, obliged to tile the bathroom or simply go to the pub in the traditional English manner?

Tell us your tales of woe and jubilation!
(golddust QOTW now revolves around being a cunt, Fri 23 Aug 2013, 11:59, Reply)

Ferris Buellers day off (your day off)
Lied to work because I was in court and might have gone to jail. Didnt tell them that, just took a day off sick. I got some strange satisfaction out of the fact if I was sent down I would have just never gone back to that soul destroying place and they would never know what happened to me.

When have you lied for a day off work, why, and did it ever go pear shaped? Was it amazing? Tell me about it.

If this hasn't been done before this should definitely be the next QOTW
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 17:57, Reply)

I wish I was in One Direction. Am I the only one?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 15:34, 4 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Failed attempts to be funny
I know it makes up about 90% of this websight, but when in real life have you spectacularly failed to be funny when you thought you were Jerry Seinfeld or something (No smoking signs at a smoked kipper factory?!?!? What's THAT all about?). Or have you witnessed someone crash and burn b y either being plain unfunny or offensively unfunny?
( Reginald Donkeyfuck, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 9:18, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Eskimo brothers
Ok so you sleep with a man/woman (just because I am not jimmy doesn't meant I have to discriminate you racists)

Then your friend/anti jerk sleeps with the same person, or asks if they can. How do you react?

I forget that this is b3ta and sexual conquests are kind of like the bible, a boat load of bullshit however, I am sure you have stories about whether your mother wanted to sleep with your sisters mother well explain it
( spanishfly is so fucking sexy people impersonate him, Thu 22 Aug 2013, 4:17, Reply)

Do you ever iron clothes?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 21:34, Reply)

What's the minimum amount of water required to flush away a medium sized turd?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 21:22, Reply)

Inventions
If you had a real working brain and could invent anything you wanted to what would you create?
( Herb Alpert's Taxi Driver I have very beautiful lips, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 21:14, Reply)

Weight of a severed leg.

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 19:58, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Hitchhiking
When was the last time you gave a hitchhiker a lift, or picked someone up? Ever had a nightmare lift? Tell all! Extra points for tales of lurid naughties or Honda Accords.
( The Lone Groover has mal des nuts., Wed 21 Aug 2013, 15:04, Reply)

             
( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 11:45, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Art and fucking culture week.
Write a poem, or a limerick, or a haiku, or a story. Don't make it tl;dr or shit or anything, and no fucking whining about other forum users.
( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 10:03, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

has anyone tried peanut butter on toast? which is best, crunchy or smooth?

(Captain Give-A-Fuck #internetpals4eva, Wed 21 Aug 2013, 9:50, 1 reply, 11 years ago)

Favourite/worst teacher from High school (or primary).
And why?

It's amazing - ask pretty much anyone other than your average mouth-breathing asbo-chav and they'll be able to remember the person's name and exactly why the loved/hated them.
Ask 'em what they had for breakfast last Wed. however and they'll look at you blankly - bar people in prison or health fanatics. They'll just shiv you.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Tue 20 Aug 2013, 6:03, Reply)

Divorce.

( Fucking hell Jeff I am not a robot, Mon 19 Aug 2013, 21:02, Reply)

Have you ever physically assaulted a member of the clergy?
I haven't but I wondered how easy and satisfying it is.
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Mon 19 Aug 2013, 14:40, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

Share your tales about your top tips being newsletter worthy like mine,
I haven't been paid yet.
( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 Aug 2013, 20:20, Reply)

Americans call grilling food 'broiling'. Share your stories about that maybe?

( MEATSNAKE Richard Hammond, Sat 17 Aug 2013, 20:18, Reply)

The real meaning of room 101 - not the TV twattery one
What would be in your room 101 - the thing that would make you wish the torture on your first-born or your granny? What are you REALLY terrified of?
(Captain Placid 24/7 ball gags, brownie mix and clown porn, Sat 17 Aug 2013, 17:55, 3 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

What's the biggest arse you've ever put your thing in?

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 12:02, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)

I'M A CHUTNEY FERRET
Do you like chutney? What kind of chutney is best? If someone else likes a different type of chutney to you, do you call them a stupid cunt?
( Two Hats 🎩🎩, Fri 16 Aug 2013, 11:57, 2 replies, latest was 11 years ago)