Pikeys out walking their son.
Cycling along a designated cycle path by a river, I came up behind some pikeys who had taken their son our for a walk (they were at least responsible enough to have him on a lead).

The path was narrow but getting wider, so I slowed to wait until the widest point to overtake them. Then the female chattered something incomprehensible to the male, which I can only assume was some kind of cunning pikey plot; suddenly they spread themselves out over the path to take up all the space and prevent my passing.

I had been planning to politely say "excuse me" in order to facilitate my maneuver, but this was clearly no longer the appropriate form. Anyway, they were concentrating so hard on taking up all possible space on the path, that they forgot they were walking their sprog and let go of his reins; at around the same time, the path became wide enough that the two of them couldn't block it all, and so I made a dash around the left... and promptly had to brake hard as the oblivious child made his own matching dash, abruptly cutting me off yet again.

At this point, the female realised her error and regained control of the dangerously errant child's fastenings. With all blockages cleared, I proceeded down the track only to hear "the paths for walking on not cycling on" shouted at me. I descided to stop to point out the very obvious blue circular signs-with-bikes-on nearby, and correct her on her mistake, so I said

"Get the fuck out of my town, you stupid ugly pikey cunt bitch."
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 4 Nov 2014, 16:25, 1 reply, 10 years ago)

Then they ran after you and threw you and your bike into the river and you died.

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Thu 6 Nov 2014, 22:23, Reply)

The bloke did start to run after me.
And I pedalled and pedalled like a massive coward, whilst hoping and praying the ricketty old chain didn't come off again.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Fri 7 Nov 2014, 18:00, Reply)

Should have jumped off and used your black belt feng shui skills on him

( drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Sat 8 Nov 2014, 13:28, Reply)

Both of them weighed more than twice what I do,
And the only fighting style I know is crying in pain, though I am 7th Dan at that.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Tue 11 Nov 2014, 17:21, Reply)