verbal
When I've been chatting to my bests mates on the tinterwebnet or whatever my missus asks me stuff like "oh, what's X being doing?" or "Did Y enjoy his holiday?"

I don't fucking know!!! We don't sit about gossiping and catching up on news. We talk absolute bollocks for hours on end. Complete drivel.

I paid my mate a visit the day after he'd got back from some exam marking course in London for 3 days. We didn't even mention his trip.

No, when I arrived, he was watering his Venus Flytrap. Within 5 minutes, we'd anthropomorphised it, christened it "Hannibal" and discussed how it climbs off the windowsill on the night and hunts insects, causes havoc and how it tries to bum-rape the cactus.

How much bollocks do you and your mates spout when you get together?
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Sat 24 Jan 2009, 1:24, 5 replies, latest was 16 years ago)

I remember one
debating how much steel wire would we need to put P Di "the worlds saviour" back together enough to then fuck her back into pieces
(Halfy By light alone, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 11:07, Reply)

I spent my lunch hour
debating the logistics of shagging a wasp.
(Rakky (forgot her password) The muffin maverick, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 17:30, Reply)

just one word
carefully!
(Halfy By light alone, Sat 7 Feb 2009, 12:41, Reply)

piano
we once devised a full compliment of 24 separate machines that could be clamped to a piano and play a Chopin Etude on it. Which would knacker the piano a treat and thus some sort of delivery system was devised to feed another piano onto the stage while the next machine on a cable-car style guy-wire came crashing out some doors like a ghost train.
( sandettie light vessel automatic New Twitter - @bollocksreally, Mon 26 Jan 2009, 17:30, Reply)

a mate and I once spent a good couple of hours
devising a bong that would look like a big revolver where you placed your mouth over the barrel and pulled the trigger to ignite a flame which would burn the cartridge of weed that you'd slotted into the place where you put bullets.

then next time you cocked it the chambers would revolve providing you with another cartridge of gear.
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 3 Feb 2009, 15:32, Reply)