Why I Quit the UK.
Some of you may remember my post on the Kids QOTW about how I got with a girl, who then found out she was pregnant from her ex. I stuck around and was there for the babies birth which ended up being quite a hurrendous experience due to complications. ( www.b3ta.com/questions/kids/post146569 )

So, A year later, me Kelly and baby Tom have been living with each other now for about 9 months.
Both of us working. My family were pretty much accepting the baby as their own and her family loved me to bits. Money was good, nice car on the drive. I had just started a new job as an IT Manager and all was good. I guess you couldnt ask for a more stable happy family life.

Our long term plans were to have another child at some point. To complete the circle. If that was to happen, and if I was to marry her then I would adopt Tom and be his legal father.

This was, until I started growing suspisious of Kellys MSN activities. Like when I looked up she would close her MSN chat window on the PC like she really didn't want me to look at what she was doing.
Something wasn't quite right and I couldnt put my finger on it.

I was very much in favour of Kelly having her own life outside the house and outside of her part time job. She kept in touch with some friends from a previous job. One guy in particular, Joe used to come round every now and again. He was a cool dude, into Anime, Red Dwarf etc. So we had stuff to talk about. He was at Tom's Christening and at our house warming BBQ. Yeah it was good. But something was a miss...

I did something that some would say is controversial, and an invasion of privacy but I ended up having to do it. But I installed an MSN Chat sniffer on my server, and so Kellys MSN activity was being logged and she had no idea I was able to read her conversations.

I soon found out that Kelly and Joe were messing about on MSN. Talking about sexual fantasies. It then got to the point where they were sat on webcams doing stuff to tease each other and turn each other on. This would go on whilst I was at work, or sleeping. One night she actually sneaked into our bedroom to get her vibrator and took it downstairs. Thinking I was asleep. Nope I wasnt. And infact i soon pulled out my PDA and was reading what she was up to downstairs in real time.

She was really stupid thinking she would get away with this seeing as she was living with an IT Expert using my computer on my network.

From what I could gather, what they were doing was strictly confined to the internet. And I watched their little relationsjhip blossom over a couple of months to see if it actually got physical.

I felt extremely hurt by what was going on, and started planning my exit from the whole situation. I had completely lost trust in Kelly. But was fighting myself beacuse she hadnt actually done anything in real life with him. Plus of course the baby hadnt done anything wrong and I loved him to bits. I didnt want to leave him. I was pretty much his dad.

I was bored at work one day and happened to stumble across a forum for British Expats living in Spain, and suddenly got very interested in the idea. A couple of months before, I had just taken Kelly on a short break to Torremolinos on the Costa Del Sol, and I had been to that area before. Ive always wanted to move to the U.S but since 9/11 getting Visas is just next to impossible. I soon found out that all I had to do to stay in Spain was register at a police station and find a job. No visas as its part of europe. So its incredibly easy to move there. I soon got very interested in this idea! I was seriously considering persueing it if things were to go wrong with Kelly.

One fatefull day came where one of the MSN logs indicated that they were going to do stuff with each other the next time they meet. Kelly had asked me to look after Tom one night whilst she went out. I knew where she was going. She was going to meet up with Joe. She said she was, but obviously just as friends. I planned that the day after they would of course talk abotu what they had done. If that happened, I was going to put my notice in at work, spend some time at my mates and then eventually drive down to Spain and never see them again.

Then perhaps the worse thing happened. They never met up! Joe wasn't feeling very well so cancelled on her. Which just prolonged the agony for me. At this point I had been watching them at it online for a couple of months and I really couldnt take it anymore. So despite this I had it out with Kelly anyway. She had nothing to say to me. Other than "Oh shit yes you caught me" and then she started feeling really really bad about it. I never told her how I found out. But I did quote some of her and his MSN comments. So she must have known I had seen her logs. She just started crying and said I love you I really do.

As a few days passed, she was nothing but sorry for the whole thing. But I suddenly felt bad. Even if I did forgive and forget. I had pretty much planned a new life in Spain. So I told her that I was going to do this. And she said that she would come too. A new fresh start would solve the problem she said. If she is willing to give up her life in the UK for me to move out to Spain away from people she knows. That would prove her real commitment to me.

Well its an idea. Except I had no idea whether a life in Spain would work for me let alone her. Its not like I had a job there or knew anyone or knew the area particularly well. So I said I would go ahead first for a couple of months and if all works out then she and the baby can follow. With working tax credits she could afford to keep the house going by herself.

So thats what happened. I flew out to Spain and within a week I got a job as an IT Technician and soon found a great circle of friends. A month later, Kelly came out and we chose an apartment together. She went home to make the preperations to move out with the baby permanently.

What she didnt realise was that I was still keeping tabs of her MSN conversations. And what was she up to? The same stuff again, with the same guy. Until one conversation made out that she had sexually pleasured him. I simply received an email "Dont bother coming to Spain. You know why."

She did nothing but deny it. She realised what a mistake she had made, and the life she was about to loose. I told her we were finished
Her response to that was to have sex with someone else. She admitted that one herself.
So that was it, we was completely and utterly finished.

So, I'm still out in Spain and she's still home in the U.K. I let her keep all my furniture and stuff in the house for the babys sake. We are still friends and her and the baby have come out for holidays. She no longer talks to Joe. I even saved her ass from getting evicted the other month, due to a financial muddle she had got herself in. Once again, I only did that for Tom. But I'd never have her. I'll always be there for the baby. I am still his godfather.

Hopefully I'll meet another girl and have our own baby sometime. Miss Right will be out there somewhere!
(Miggyman, Mon 26 May 2008, 15:07, 8 replies)

Girls like her
make me ashamed of my sex.

*clickyhug*
(TheWeeWitch hasn't been here much recently .., Mon 26 May 2008, 15:15, closed)

Aw! honey.
I was sitting here feeling all sorry for myself and generally feeling shitty about my life and you have shown me how worse some people have it compared to me.

Good luck.
( girlinthehole, Mon 26 May 2008, 15:37, closed)

*click*
You're a top chap, best of luck to you on your hunt for Miss Right, she exists somewhere!
(buzzmong procrastinating since 1987, Mon 26 May 2008, 15:39, closed)

Some people
don't know how good they have it until they lose it

Good on you for sticking to your guns.

Hope things work out well for you
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Mon 26 May 2008, 15:49, closed)

Good on you
You did the right thing.
(andythepieman Is surfing the waves of indifference on, Mon 26 May 2008, 21:35, closed)

Hug
You sounds like a top bloke for doing all that for her. I was almost crying reading that.
( fuck shit up the best you never had, Mon 26 May 2008, 23:22, closed)

Think
you made best of the situation. Good luck with the future :)
( thyrf as in turf, but not, Wed 28 May 2008, 3:46, closed)

Have a click
Been in a similar situation myself some time back - ended up in Texas for a while, which was nice...
( snee held his breath since, Thu 29 May 2008, 12:40, closed)