My grandfather told me this story, which he got from his father.
It's so repugnant I've declined to translate it from the original Irish.

"Breathnadóireacht, Toisc Go Bhfuil Mé Tábhachtach.

"Moladh an cheist seo ag "Tháinig sé Ó Planet Aylia", ar a dtugtaí Janet Aylia. Mar sin, éist tú le liobrálacha.

"Aylia, ina liobrálach agus bean, neamhaird mo thuairimí a fhoilsiú. Cinnim dofhulaingthe seo. Tá mo thuairimí tábhachtach.

"Léigh sí teachtaireachtaí agus mo díspeagadh sciar ...

"An bhfuil sé iontas go bhfuil mé míshásta ...?

"Tithe tábhairne an chuid is mó Liobrálaithe dhíbirt. Nach bhfuil an teach tábhairne bhuail mo éilimh ...

"Sláinte,
Gan Cosa"
( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 21:37, 13 replies)

PLEASE: you must NSFW that. Not all of us are layabouts. My boss nearly saw that.
( enoughblueskyforsailorstrousers, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 21:41, closed)

Crikey, that's a bit abstruse.
And remember, don't feed the leprechauns.
( Ghoti Fingers, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 21:43, closed)

Sláinte

(dozers, do fuck off ur a nob m8, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 21:47, closed)

Sláinte

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Mon 31 Oct 2011, 23:13, closed)

This is the single most horrific thing I've ever read on the internet.

( BraynDedd Natasha Kaplinsky's labia majora, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:10, closed)

WHAT A MASSIVE CUNT.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:13, closed)

síos leis an saghas rud

(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:27, closed)

Cúramach anois!

( The Mock TurtIe ™ --- Thinks you are a cunt, on, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:29, closed)

Bloody hell. What a twat!

( mns 2️⃣2️⃣9️⃣0️⃣7️⃣, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:27, closed)

Courtesy of Google...what's wrong with your feet?
"Observation, because I Important.

"This question was suggested by" it came from Planet Aylia ", formerly known as Janet Aylia. So, you listen to liberal.

"Aylia, a liberal and a woman, ignore my opinions. I find this intolerable. My views are important.

"She read my messages and share contempt ...

"Is it surprising that I am unhappy ...?

"Pubs most Liberals expelled. Not the bar hit my claim ...

"Health,
without Feet
(Milo Minderbinder, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 22:47, closed)

Urgh
That's Fenian Bog-trotting shite. Um, my grandad says.
(Rsoles, Thu 27 Oct 2011, 23:48, closed)

We're up to our knees ...
in Fenian blood. Surrender or you'll all die!

Harmless folks songs sung with gusto by beery elderly male relatives. Happy childhood memories.
(Que?, Fri 28 Oct 2011, 2:32, closed)