A REAL egg!
Yesterday, I blearily trudged the whole ten metres from my house to the corner shop at - what seemed to me - the crack of dawn in order to buy some daily necessities that soon-to-be-Mr-Seventh had neglected to stock up on during the previous day's wallet-wrenching shopping excursion.

The day was bright, which wasn't helping me to feel any more awake and strangely peaceful; a still, calm quiet hovered over the neighbourhood, which I found blissfully soothing. Still mostly asleep, with unbrushed hair,yesterday's clothes and (shame of shame) comfy blue Crocs, I nodded a sleepy greeting at the shop's proprietor and went about gathering the milk, cheese, potatoes and - most importantly - toilet paper, not forgetting the chocolate hobnobs, of course. I was the only customer, soft pop-rock was playing quietly in the background and I experienced a moment of perfect peace and tranquillity, getting my odds and ends of groceries on this lovely day.

Piling my armful of chosen goods on the counter (and sneaking in a cheeky Malteaster bunny as an impulse-buy - damn them for their supertasty tastiness...), I rummaged in my pocket for that loose tenner whilst idly watching the LED total add up my bill. The door opened and a sunnily-dressed woman and an equally summery eight-ish year old girl entered the shop.

I was just handing over the cash, feeling pleased that I'd miraculously managed to buy exactly £9.99 worth of assorted oddments when the child bounced up to me and poked me very hard in the ribs.

Startled, I opened my mouth to politely protest but before I could speak she beamed brightly at me and declared loudly and clearly "I've got a REAL egg!" Illustrating her claim by enthusiastically waving a tiny white egg in my face, she poked me again and bounced a little on her heels, apparently bursting with joy and pride in her possession.

The shopkeeper's face glazed over into utter bafflement and I feel proud in being able to come out with a mumbled "oh? that's very nice, where did you get that from?" but the child was already bouncing away before I'd finished my sentence. I stared after her and she breezily called over her shoulder "It's a PIGEON EGG! I'm going to be a pigeon mummy!" before disappearing round the corner.

Speechless, I paid up and trudged back out with my shopping, still completely clueless why a small child had chosen ME to assault with poking and egg-news.



TL;DR: Shopping at stupid o'clock in the morning whilst half asleep when a child violently pokes me in the ribs, waves small white object in my face and declares "I've got a REAL egg!!" No further explanation was provided.
( Seventh is somewhat subdued, Sat 23 Apr 2011, 15:54, Reply)