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This is a question World of Random

There's a pile of scrap timber, rubble and general turds in the road opposite my work with a hand-written sign reading "Free Shed". Tell us about random, completely hatstand stuff and people you've seen

Suggested by Sandettie Light Vessel Automatic

(, Thu 21 Apr 2011, 11:38)
Pages: Popular, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, 4, 3, 2, 1

This question is now closed.

Steve The Cheese.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 18:11, Reply)
this guy's posts on /board :D
Weird and random as feck
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 18:10, Reply)
A midget dressed as a leprechaun...
...who was mic'd up and calling people into an 'Irish' bar at around lunch time in Las Vegas.

The most random thing was, that at the time it just seemed completely normal.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 17:06, 5 replies)
The true definition of random......
can be summed up in just three words.

Vic and Bob.

Action. Image.....Exchange!

(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:22, 3 replies)
the lottery
Is more chaos theory than random.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 16:08, 1 reply)
product advice
Last Xmas whilst at work in Satan's busy I was asked by a customer on how to use Just for Men hair dye; the customer had already purchased the item and had decided to remove the product from the box whilst asking me, possibly half expecting me to apply it there and then, in the middle of the fresh fruit & veg.

Managed to get it through to him that there were instructions in the box and that there was no way I was going to help him apply it, saying that I wasn't a trained hair stylist.

Just glad he hadn't asked how to use a condom.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:09, 2 replies)
The ice cream man cometh
My last house was in a fairly rough area. About 8 or 9 at night we often heard the sound of the ice cream man, which always seemed to be a bit late for an ice cream van to be coming round. I always made jokes about it selling drugs.

One day, I was walking an unfamiliar path near my house and saw the ice cream van go past. Then a small boy (probably about 7) carrying a bunch of drooping tulips stopped me and said "See that ice cream van? That's the evil ice cream van..."

Should probably have put this in the 'creepy' QOTW
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 15:00, 2 replies)
Not for the anally retentive...
This is all a bit recent in the memory and as this is so, I am still trying to make sense of it.
It just so happened that I was making a trip southbound on the M6 yesterday and required to make a bit of a "shitstop" at Tebay services. Niftily diving into the toilets at the services (rebranded recently, it would appear), I found a suitable empty cubicle. On my trip towards the cubicle I had noted a large number of chocolate coated nuts on the floor. This prompted the thought that this was both sad and vile in equal measure (I pictured a small child losing the sweeties to a terminal rent in the packaging and then not having the aforementioned sweeties as a treat. I then turned to the thought that the open packet should have been nowhere near the toilets. This was made worse by the thought that these were not the sort of sweetie a child has and therefore we were mentally(at least) dealing with an adult).
Anyhow; I digress.
I duly sat down to do what I needed to do ( a couple of rounds of "Coin Dozer on the iphone usually does the trick). The sweeties were all over the place.
there was a hand...
picking them up.
one by one.
A much older persons hand. This hand progressed from the area under the dividing partition between where I was ensconced and their location next door, to venturing further (albeit not much thankfully) into my space and then when this area was clear to the immediate vicinity of the door.
I finished and left, only to discover some random old bloke chewing on chocolate coated nuts....
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:47, 1 reply)
Got home the other night...
...looked out of the window and a young man went past on a skateboard, playing a ukelele.

Also, when I was in Oregon, I saw a man on a unicycle, wearing a kilt, playing the bagpipes. Brilliant.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:12, 2 replies)
3ft, cross dressing,
Chinese midget, into bungee jumping, seeks similar.

I love lonely hearts ads, that one is by far the best I've ever found.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 14:09, 3 replies)

(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:58, Reply)
Shopping with the missus in morRISons the other week
and during another epic adventure of "Bored husband dragged along while the Wife Examines EVERY ITEM on sale" we get to the pet food aisle. We got us a cat who unfortunately has to eat, so while the missus was examining all the flavours of food available (it's a cat, give it any old food not a fecking menu and wine list ffs) I happen to notice another couple in the aisle in pretty much the same predicament. There was the husband standing there bored leaning on the trolley while who I'm assuming was his wife was standing there reading rather intently the full nutritional values of a box of cat biscuits (again I don't hear about many cats trying to cut out e-numbers from their diet ffs).

After about a full minute of me waiting, and this couple getting on with it the woman puts the biscuits down and carries on walking, while the husband says "Dunno why you were looking at them, not as if we got a cat" and they wonder off to a different aisle. My brain could not deal with this, what in the living fuck is so interesting about cat biscuits???? Every aisle must be a fucking adventure for those two.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 13:52, 3 replies)
The cocksock blows in the breeze
I find a good reason to sleaze
At the floozy on the heap
Who is twelve inches deep
With a sexful chance of disease

Did I mention she's a slag
With a fanny like a bag
Don't stick it up her flume
Because you'll come away with a weeping penis full of regret
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:58, 1 reply)
A few years back I went to see Motorhead at the Academy, Birmingham. usual metal/gig crowd, except one one odd couple; the guy was late 40's, skinny, white with a Motorhead t shirt on; so far, so normal. His partner was a black woman, mid 30s in a blue cocktail dress. She seemed very bored (the bloke seemed to be enjoying heimself). I wondered what their relationship was.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:52, 12 replies)
In my hometown of Newport...
...South Wales, there is a castle, after which the city was originally named. It lines the river Usk on the edge of the city centre and is sandwhiched between a busy roundabout and rail bridge.
It used to be accessible to the public and was a favourite haunt of the local goth/alternative population (of which I was a member at the time) until it was fenced off in the early 2000's. Probably owing to the fact that depressed teenagers kept throwing themselves in to the muddy banks of the Usk (no fatalities that i'm aware of. Just a lot of bother for the local emergency services).

Anyhow, since it was fenced off by massive spikey railings it's nigh on impossible to get to unless you're particularly daring, determined or a pigeon. So imagine my surprise when one day, driving toward town, I saw a trolley from the local supermarket wedged perfectly in to one of the window arches. Usually they just end up in the river but this was a work of genius.

After i'd finished laughing and narrowly avoided crashing in to the driver in front of me, I took a moment to consider the logistics of this herculean feat.
The arch was a good 30 - 40 foot up and the climb in itself wouldn't be easy due to the crumbling, mossy brick work. Not to mention the pigeon shit. Still, whoever it was had managed not only to circumnavigate the fencing, but climb the castle...with a trolley...and get it to fit perfectly in to the arch. I would like to find that person and shake them by the hand.

It's a shame they removed it.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:45, 1 reply)
random smiles
I remember once having a particularly shit day and a completely random stranger smiled at me as they were walking past. Completely out of the blue, without motive and unexpected, yet it gave me a little lift for the rest of the day.

So ever since I've been trying to do similiar. Even better if done randomly, but it always works best on people who look like they're having a shit time of it. The good thing is the more you do it the better and more fearless you get and it has a pretty good effect on your own mood too. And if they're a chronically ignored homeless person just this little recognition is enough to make them feel a little more human again

never underestimate the power of a completey random stranger smiling at you. Do it next time you're out, I guarantee it will make someones day aswell as your own.

NB. the only caveat to this is don't do it to middle aged men in tight muscle shirts hanging around the local cemetery late evening, unless that's what you're into
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:42, 3 replies)
Once came across a guy in Bromley High Street, looking like he'd fished his clothes out of the dustbin that very morning, holding a huge sign covered in multi-coloured sequins and glitter. Like some kind of crap psychedelic mirror.

He was pointing to it and screaming 'CAN YOU SEE THE TEETH? YOU CANNOT BE SAVED IF YOU CAN'T SE THE TEETH'.

Had a good look and I was buggered if I could see any.

He gave me a very horrible look and muttered 'Interest rates. I see your cargo'.

(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:35, Reply)
Bumped in to David Seaman in Marlow the other day.

Given I live in Bradford it was pretty random, but also he and I are both from Rotherham.

That's all...
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 12:20, 1 reply)
When I worked in Sainsbury's many moons ago
I was in the car park when some random leaned out of a window and shouted at me:

"Away n' stick a ticket in a helicopter shem!"

I still have no clue to this day whether it meant anything or was just a overly complicated way of saying 'fuck off'

Probably the latter.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:41, 2 replies)
Desert surreal.
I used to work in Central Australia. The Aboriginal people of the area are called Anangu and still live a traditional life. One of the aunties was at my house at lunchtime and we were watching SBS (awesome Oz tv channel with international movies, no soaps or shit, best docos).

So an everyday salad sandwich lunch turned into watching a Korean horror movie - strange at the best of times - with me reading the English subtitles and then having to translate, rather poorly, into Pitjantjatjara. This was coupled with my own weird acting of some of the scenes to try and explain within an Anangyu framework what the hell was going on.

Then we went back to work.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:23, 5 replies)
I once had a stopover in Bangkok en route to Australia....
Don't worry, it's not THAT type of Bangkok random....but I did go to the airport hotel bar and saw a Thai midget in a poncho doing karaoke to 'Stan' by Eminem.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 11:16, 1 reply)
An bandy legged old bloke,
half crouching and using a Tesco carrier bag to catch the shit falling from a dogs arse.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 10:48, 1 reply)
Das Boot
It was like an art installation project. In the middle of Leicester Square, a park bench. Under the bench, a boot, lying on its side. On top of the bench, a second boot, defiantly upright and on fire.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 9:10, 1 reply)
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(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 8:39, 7 replies)
I've always wondered about this 1.
When my mum died & I had to go thru the probate I came across many of these. I've since seen them in many legal/financial docs.

My query is why would 'they' add this to the end of a pdf that I have to print, fill out and post? I only print the pages I need & I do double-sided btw. I used to laugh @ the ironing. (Once you print "This page has been left intentionally blank" then surely it is no longer blank).
NOT the most random thing that's happened to me, but 1 that's always left me scratching my head.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 8:09, 4 replies)
This sign.




(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 7:18, Reply)
That awful 'bird is the word' song being quoted ad infinitum is not being random or wacky. It's died down a little where we are but still, I heard the same (or only?) line repeated by different people thirty times a day a few months back.

'Birdbirdbird...' Somebody kill me!
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 6:08, 5 replies)
A midget.....
rollerblading past my workplace, going the wrong way up a one way street, listening to an iPod

''Now, there's something you don't see every day'', was all I could say to my colleague.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 5:12, 2 replies)
Random exchange with Gary Pallister...
...who was seemingly in Dublin on a stags with his mates. Europe had just won the Ryder Cup, so Pallister shouts a victorious "Go team Europe!" at us in passing.

My mate responds with a loud and purposeful, "I love you Steve Bruce!"

Oh, how we laughed.
(, Fri 22 Apr 2011, 3:33, Reply)

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