You really can't out-run a forest fire
Couple of years ago in the spring I was looking around the woods on our property and decided it needed tidying up. And there's no better way of tidying up dead tree branches than a good old bonfire, is there?

Mrs Spankengine wasn't having it though. Oh no. "Fires are dangerous" she said. "So you shouldn't".

What does she know?

So I very diligently scraped a 12-foot circle in the leaves, down to the damp earth. Nice and damp, I thought. After all the snow had recently melted so it was safe. But to make it even safer I had the hose lined up and ready.

What could be safer?

Turns out quite a lot. My little bonfire had been burning for just a few minutes when suddenly it jumped out of the circle and into the very dry leaves. By the time I ran to the tap to turn the hose on it was about 5 times the size of my original fire, and moving scarily fast. You know how they say you can't outrun a forest fire? Well, 'they' are right.

I was cacking myself so badly I couldn't actually speak down the telephone to the emergency services. Absolutely stark-staring terrified.

Then Fireman Sam and his boys arrived with a real hose to put the fire out, and the helpful comment that if they'd got there 5 minutes later they'd be looking at a major forest fire. But by this point I was cacking myself again knowing that my wife was out shopping and could be back any minute. The firemen actually left about 5 minutes before she got home.

Not sure how I thought I would be able to hide half a burned acre from her, to be honest.

I get bombarded with news reports on forest fires now from all my friends. And I don't play with matches anymore.

Utterly, utterly terrifying experience.
(Thomas_The_Spankengine, Fri 23 Feb 2007, 21:31, Reply)