The bitch and Man utd 99
Back at uni, I met this girl in my second year, it was supposed to be a one night stand, but I had this conscience one thing led to another and 18 months later I proposed to her.

This wasn't any old run of the mill proposal, no it was her asking me whilst drunk, starting a argument in a restaurant because I was dodging her initial question, her finally crying and me (in order to get a shag that night) proposing.

Another 15 months on from the proposal, she had finished UNI, me, had stayed on for the masters, and we lived 200 miles apart. She wouldn't come and see me (she didn't like the drive) I couldn't see her (too costly). So I met another girl who was... STUNNING - best shag ever (excluding current Mrs Big Bear - she is just dirty) anyhow, this was all going in during the treble season of Man UTD and being a current season ticket holder (who actually comes from & lives in Manchester) I was in dream land - No moaning bitch of a fiancée, sleeping with a goddess and my team are winning everything.

Here comes the break up, I was intending on putting the poor girl out of her misery face to face, but on the night of the Champions league final she rings me up half way through (I am at the student digs getting pissed with 10 others) I said I can't come to the phone (one sad flat mate had actually answered). She then rang and rang the phone every minute eventually I answered (at half time).

"YES, WHAT IS IT?"
"Why didn't you want to talk to me"
"Cos its the final" I replied
"So football comes before me then?" she asked
"No, football doesn't come first when it involves you" I calmly replied.
"So why didn't come to the phone?"
"Cos, Ma UTD and the stunning blonde I'm fucking come before you! Now fuck off and never bother me again. Also I knew you fucked that Irish lad that was living with in the 3rd year, you slag"

I promptly unplugged the phone never to hear from her again.

Best night of my life though, my mates cheered when they heard me say that (they said they hated her but didn't want to say anything - some mates eh?) Man UTD winning (promptly went on the piss in town and ending up meeting up with the blonde.

Length 32 months and 29 days too long (if you count the first month as September)
(bigbear45 scousers are the barnacles of society, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:16, 10 replies)

So
at which point did your fiancee realise her crap relationship was over?
(Smale is stuffed, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 13:47, closed)

Wow!
You STUD! High Five! Let's clasp hands in a completely heterosexual way. You dog! (and other alpha-male bullshit.)
(MrC. Having the most boring username on b3ta since 2004, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 14:00, closed)

I think
you come off as far more of a dick than your ex here.
(jennymnemonic, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 14:55, closed)

Oh my!
You certainly are a catch!
( Geoff the Clownfish You know Myra, some people might think you're cute, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 14:59, closed)

sounds like a top night

( miltonlives on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 16:02, closed)

I want to be like you when I grow up

Oh no wait, I don't. You're a cunt
( Bamboo Steamer, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 16:43, closed)

Needs more . .
Accord, supermodels and massive drugs!
(jonnyninetails, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 17:17, closed)

Only wankers refer to them as Man Utd or Man U
I hope you die in a fire
( Light In Chains maker of the ikea sofa, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 18:06, closed)

Supporting Man Utd
Does not make you have a bigger penis
(Draco Rattus ate all the pies on, Wed 27 Oct 2010, 21:10, closed)

After reading these replies
I'm still going to make up my own mind:

You are a fucking idiot for proposing to a girl just to get a shag.

And putting words in capitals makes you seem like a liar.
(lemonadegame, Thu 28 Oct 2010, 3:21, closed)