Napoleon the irrate
8years ago i was lucky enough to take part in a small "rally" from Montril in Northern France to Rome. The morning started of nicely, bit cold, but we took some pictures of all the cars and then set off on our various different routes...getting onto the autoroute there were about 6 of us together. We all floored it and got upto silly speeds (160Mph+) before backing off due to the fuel needle dropping at an alarming rate...soon enough we and 2 others pulled over for fuel. Filling up was a story in itself, as a sunday morning in rural france seems to mean no one is alive before 10am, even the pay at pump machines were on strike. After finding somewhere to fill up, grab a 'pasty without filling' and a coffee we were on our way again, but this time with the 3 of us deciding to stick together for the rest of the journey.

We'd been on the road for an hour or so and were heading south....fast. Car after car was overtaken, sometimes (most of the time) at some pretty antisocial speeds including 3 old blue 'tourist' buses that seemed to take offence to the speed, their flashing of lights amused me, mainly because I knew i'd annoyed several French people. We'd then got a call saying that one of the other guys on the run had been stopped at the swiss border and that he wasn't going anywhere for a while, so rather than pile in behind him and possibly face the wrath of the swiss fun police we decided to stop for lunch at a service station before taking of the car stickers to try and blend in a bit.

We pulled up and had our lunch then went to get more fuel before the journey onwards...Then the 3 coaches we buzzed passed pulled in and all the passengers poured out and glared in our general direction, A small white car then made it's way over to us. We noticed something odd, then the trouser quaking reality set in, those 150 (ish) passengers were all smartly dressed, in their damned police uniforms! and the small white car making it's way over contained 2 rather irate French policemen...One stepped out and blasted something in french at us, luckily one of the guys we were with spoke fluent french, even more luckily the frence policeman spoke very little english so a shrug of the shoulders was more than enough to convey that we didn't understand what he was saying...After 20mins of having our cars and equipment very closely checked (€1500 fine if you are caught with a working speed detector) little napolean fucked off back to his gang of collegues, we'd been told in broken english and angry french, that if we were caught driving at those speeds in his country again, we'd not only spend at least one night in jail, but have our cars confiscated and a hefty fine levied, I'm not sure if he even had the powers to do that, but he had a gun, so we politely shrugged our "don't understand you properlies" and we on our way, very very slowly. Until Italy. I think my butt hole relaxed a few hours after crossing the boarder, and it was pretty worrying at the time, but it was definatly one of the most vivid memories I have of that road trip.
(Bushcricket, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:00, 23 replies)

So, your story is:
You were travelling at excessive speeds on public roads in France and almost got caught?
I'm all for driving fast on clear roads, etc., but this souds like you got away with driving like a cock.
(Me, I'm not... in any way intoxicated, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:21, closed)

And your point is

(Bushcricket, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:31, closed)

There is no place on a public road, however clear, for that kind of speed..
Not much you can do at 160mph+ when a car load of someone's family pulls out in front of you, is there?
(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:31, closed)

You can break...
But anyway the 160Mph happened early in the morning on a French autoroute on sunday...there was no one else around but us lot.

And besides, it would have more than likely been a French family...so no great loss.
(Bushcricket, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:37, closed)

Sorry but...
I'm afraid I'm with "Me, I'm not" on this one, you're a cock.
(Vinnie Strokes Got bummed on, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 18:46, closed)

And I've got to agree.
160mph on a public road?
Arseholery of a very high order.
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 18 Jul 2011, 19:08, closed)

it's spelt 'brake'
but perhaps yours is more appropriate...
( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 10:12, closed)

Hit by a car at 160, dead.
Hit by a car at 80, dead.

No big difference.

Bring on unrestricted motorways! Let the old farts complain, they will have their licenses taken away soon anyway.
(tyrellsOwl, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 12:19, closed)

the point is that at 80mph you've got a lot more time to react to something that might be in the way

( Vipros. clever got me this far, then tricky got me in, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 13:08, closed)

I admire your persistance
but trying to talk to the Clarkson-ites about the rationale for speed limits is like trying to get fluffybunnykiller to spell 'cat' properly.
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 13:23, closed)

or get Bushcricket to spell 'break', come to that.

( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 13:23, closed)

I don't know what offends me more
Your lack of respect for those around you, French or not, or the fact you can't spell 'border' or 'definitely' or 'off'. Or perhaps this is all a deliberate bit of trolling, in which case, jolly good show.
(mersault, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 19:25, closed)

or 'irate'

(mersault, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 19:26, closed)

Waaah wahh waaaaah
Had a few close calls with the French Rozzers myself.

And yes, they do have the power to confiscate your car and lob you in jail.
(Mr_Kipling_, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 19:53, closed)

This is one of those "I was behaving like a dick, and I'm proud of it" posts,
where 50% will feel compelled to reply, just to point out that you are a dick, and the rest will reply to point out that everyone else is a humourless twat for not seeing that you endangering the lives of others is hilariously funny.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 19:57, closed)

Succinct!
Nice ;)
( blaireau69 , the Cumbrian Travis Bickle., Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:00, closed)

That's very self aware of you,
but what did you think of Bushcrickets post?
( scarpe We Stole Bikes, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:08, closed)

I
couldn't possibly come down to that level!
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:18, closed)

No
No spelling;
No punctuation;
No respect for the rules of the road;
No click.
( .Yeti., Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:15, closed)

sounds almost like that he is trying to be me
well on the spelling and cuntuation bits anyway
( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Mon 18 Jul 2011, 20:47, closed)

Click for "Cuntuation"

( jakedamusss I understand, and dont care., Tue 19 Jul 2011, 5:04, closed)

why thank you kind person

( fluffybunnykiller Is feasting on the clitoris of life, Tue 19 Jul 2011, 8:03, closed)

I do not condone that speed.
Unless that French family you mentioned was in the middle of the road in front of you...
(CactusZack Shaved his coin purse on, Wed 20 Jul 2011, 2:46, closed)