I used to want to be a DJ (sorry).
I went through a phase of leaving a box of records in the boot of my car on the chance of a party.

Some mates and I went out clubbing as usual and got wind of a massive house party. When we turned up it was manic, the old turn of the century house was packed full of everyone from town that wanted to party past 2am. You could hardly move in the place it was so busy.

I mananged to get a slot, had quite good fun playing records and afterwards retired to the kitchen where the intoxicants of the previous couple of hours really began to kick in. I pulled a major whitey and knew puking was iminent. Due to the density of people, the toilet was out of the question. So I started to puke out of the window.

Which was directly above the front door to the house.

Needless to say I wasn't popular.

I carried on being very pale, sweating, feeling sick and generally not to well for a couple of hours when a guy came up to me:
"you were Djing earlier"
"Uhh... yeah"
"you've got to do some more"
"No chance mate, look at me, I'm on a big fat whitey, I even puked on some people out the window"
"You think that's bad, I've got to go to work in an hour, I'm a postman"
"Oh"

So back I went to the decks, covered in vom, shaking, white as a sheet, sweating like a rapist and played some more records.

I knew it was time to leave when I saw a girl with a big puke stain running from her shoulder to her waist point at me and say something to her big bastard boyfriend. He started making his way towards me with an "I'm going to sort you out" look in his eye. I made as if I was going to get a record out my box, but instead packed up (leaving a record playing) and cralwed out of the room pushing my record box in front of me. I legged it from the house in such haste I slipped on my puke and banged my coccyx on the way out.

The pain made me puke some more.

I run away from confrontation
I can't handle my drugs
Pain makes me puke

Very rock and roll, me.
(ralphseviltwin, Fri 30 Jun 2006, 13:41, Reply)