Paris...
I've only been there on three occasions but EVERY SINGLE TIME the locals are so deliberately cunty I've wound up in a massive argument.
And no, I'm not playing the rude tourist, yes, I've made an effort to learn at least some French and no I don't go with a pre-prepared attitude.
The first time I asked at a cafe where I could find a bank.
The waiter had already established that he spoke perfect English after I stumbled through "Un cafe sil vous plait?" and he replied "will that be white coffee or black and takeaway or to have here?"
He directed me, very cleary, to the building across the square with two glass doors and a clock over them. Inside that building they explained patiently and generously they were a jeweller, the bank was in the blue building next door.
The blue building was in fact a gallery, the bank was across the lane in the sandstone building with a grilled door. The sandstone building was a restaurant, the bank was across the square in the modern building with a fountain... which was the cafe.
There was no bank in the area at all, they were just being pricks because that's how you treat polite people who come to you asking for help and hoping to cash a travellers cheque to leave more money in the local tills.
Trip two I made the mistake of getting off the ferry shuttle in full view of the taxi driver. I was, he assumed, English and therefore must be ripped off.
The trip to my hotel cost almost triple what I knew it to be, he refused point blank to even stop at the place when we got there ("no no, that driveway is not for stopping" despite the fact there were other taxis parked there and doormen helping people out)and finally, grudgingly dropped me at the exact same entrance after driving around a very large block adding a few more Euros to the fare.
Last time I walked up to the help desk in a train station and asked in my halting French, which platform would get me to the station I had come from.
The guy behind the counter looked, sneered, stood up and turned his back on me.
I asked again, he waved his hand in the internationally-recognised "fuck off" gesture, adding "Eeenglish! Pah!".
I politely asked again, he walked off to pick up a magazine, sat down and started to read.
At this point I tried a new tack, asking after his heritage, why he so closely resembled a woman's genitals and if he would be interested in coming out from behind his plate glass to see how far my fist would fit down his throat.
A young kid eventually walked up, apologised profusely for the guy's behaviour, had a go at him in rapid fire French on my behalf and then walked me to the platform I needed.
I've travelled to dozens of countries all over the world and have never EVER come across a more deliberately shit people.
I've had Kings Cross hookers offer to get me a cab when I'm so trashed I can barely stand, Moscow cab drivers pull into a restaurant to buy me a coffee because it's so cold, total strangers in New York brave Central Park to tell me this is not the place to be taking photos at 2am, Filipino villagers living in dirt-floored huts offer me a ride back into town when I'm lost etc etc etc.
But the tiniest scrap of civil behaviour in Paris? Not a fucking chance.
Every time I tell these stories to someone from England they just shrug and say that's how it is, but seriously, what on earth is up with these people???
The rest of France is nowhere near as bad, it's just this one toxic fucking city.
I'll be fucked if I'll ever go back there again.
( difficultchild, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 3:54, 23 replies)

Really?
I'm not going there then, fuck Jim Morrison. He's dead anyway.
(Juan Quar is clinging to her front teeth on, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 7:51, closed)

He's
been there so long, he's probably picked up a few of the local sensibilities himself.
(dchurch bah, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:02, closed)

Somewhere on the internets there is a drunkenometer, of which point three or four is
"You decide to buy a round for the whole table. At the bar you have a fantastic conversation with a complete stranger at the bar, at the end of which you both conclude that everyone's the same the world over, except for the bloody French."
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:43, closed)

Paris Is...
Even filthier than London.

I went there in 1992 and was unimpressed to see a dead cat decaying on the side of the pavement.
(caescarna Hell's Roomba, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:54, closed)

Hurrah!
I concur with this evaluation of Paris. I don't know why people rave about it so much. The rest of France is lovely and people do genuinely appreciate you taking the time to speak French, or at least try.

I've had a great time in Russia every time I go, but the taxi drivers are mentalists. Where are the seat belts? Who took the seat belts?!
( M3rx likes the Asian ladies, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 8:56, closed)

Are you sure that the conclusion you should have reached is...
You are shit at travelling?

You constantly get lost in France, you can't find your way home in London, you don't dress appropriately for the cold in Moscow, you head out in the middle of the night in a dangerous city, you get lost in some random villages in the Phillippines.

Just a thought...
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 9:47, closed)

^ Ceci

( rofl harris, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 12:45, closed)

Well there's always that...
( difficultchild, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 21:56, closed)

You don't know the magic phrase
If you're travelling in France and you want everyone to be nice to you simply repeat the following: "Je ne suis pas Anglais, je suis Ecossias."

Works like a charm. Vive l'alliance.
( calgacus Non sum qualis eram bonae sub regno Cynarae, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:14, closed)

This
is very true. Any time I've ever taken my car to France, I always stick a saltire next to my GB sticker. I'm no Scottish nationalist, but the Auld Alliance still seems to hold.

Possibly it's because of a mutual dislike* of the English!



*I only dislike the English when they're playing football.
( K2k6 has a proper job these days, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:11, closed)

Your assessment is absolutely in accord with my own.
I have my own stories of the animal behaviour of the Parisienne sub-humans. However, rather than dwell on those, I'll say instead that a (largely) beautiful city is wasted on them. As indeed is the glory of France as a country wasted on its aboriginals.
It was not many years ago that I saw a man harnessed to a plough and dragging it over the earth - the country is barely more than 3rd world.
( Larry Vest One day at a time, sweet Jesus, FFS., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:24, closed)

Ha! I like that...
My mum lives near Bordeaux, and once when I was out there, I saw a woman on an ancient, rusting tractor, ploughing a field, while her husband stood at the side watching with a glass of wine.
(The Kwyjibo A big, dumb, balding North American ape., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:29, closed)

Totally agree....
...visited Paris once years ago, and once is all I needed. The most overrated destination in the world, dirty, unwelcoming and comprising wall-to-wall uppity cunts just waiting for an opportunity to yank your chain.

Visited other parts of France since and found the locals to be perfectly agreeable. Seems to me that as soon as they realise one amongst their number is a total shitcake they pack them off to the capital with all the others.

Oh and Jim Morrison's grave? Don't bother - not even worth the walk through the cemetery, let a lone a visit to that town'o'twats.
(thatblokeoverthere not quite as much an arsehole as I thought, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:29, closed)

I travel to Paris quite often for work...
and I've learnt that the best way to get by is to give the impression you know precisely where you're going and to be as rude as you possibly can in getting there (same's true for London and probably most other major cities in the world).

When in Rome...
( Moey, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:37, closed)

But
didn't that young man direct you to the station?

In all fairness, the rudest waiter I ever had by a long stretch was in Paris. Literally slapped the menus down, came over at the end and chucked the bill on our table, and then looked down his nose at us as though we'd asked for a weekend with his daughter when we enquired about desserts.
(LickOutTheJamsMotherfuckers!, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:55, closed)

Heh heh
Nice read. Haven't been there, will have to think twice now.

There's no excuse for their behaviour really, but consider that you're in a minority... most English people do go over not knowing a word of French, rant on about how much they hate the French right in front of them (somehow thinking they wouldn't understand the language, when so many of them do), have the good old English sense of entitlement, and generally act like pricks. Especially if they're over there to watch a football match.

They've probably come to assume that all English people are like that, and act accordingly.

Doesn't make it right, but a possible explanation at least.
(Cloudane, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 10:59, closed)

A Defence of Paris (well, it would be the first time anyone's tried it)
I lived in Paris for a year, and whilst it was by no means the easiest time of my life (several muggings, a macing, a tear-gassing and countless incidents of harrassment) I have to stick up for them on some counts. The older generation were some of the most kind, welcoming and patient people I ever encoutered. There was a man over the road who used to let me eat (and drink !) for free in his restaurant when I was so broke I was eating stale baguettes from round the back of the bakery. The old couple upstairs who gave me a running invitation to play their grand piano. And these were proper life-long Parisiens, too. Think of the impression London must give to foreigners - about eight times as ugly and expensive, and hardly the most chummy of places.

As for the reaction to tourists, well, all I can say is that I have never been so ashamed of my nationality as when I lived in France. It wasn't just the sports crowd, either. English people often made little or no effort to speak the language (I'll agree that the French are somewhat oversensitive on this point, but then I'm equally irrationally annoyed by Americans' seeming inability to understand that there is no such thing as a 'British' accent. Hey ho.) Also, bear in mind that you were probably in a touristy area that sees dozens of these boorish, loud, arrogant arseholes every day. Waiting, in France, is a profession that's much more highly-regarded than it is over here - none of your bored Saturday teenagers on their way to better things, these guys take it seriously, and yet I've seen tourists snap their fingers, take photos of them without asking (maybe I'm alone in finding this obnoxious, but I do), and yell for service by banging on the tables. It was totally disgusting, and far from unique.

But at least they're not as bad as the Americans. I was once in a more-or-less silent packed metro carriage where two female tourists were quite literally yelling at the top of their nasal, whiny voices about how the French were clueless, but 'No-ter Daym' was really totally like awesome. The rest of the passengers - French, Belgians, English and Germans - just looked at each other in silent sympathy and understanding. It was a moment of perfect international accord. I suppose there's a moral in that, somewhere.

Je m'excuse pour la longuer
(jennymnemonic, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:41, closed)

Bad still outweighs the good.
Several muggings, a macing, a tear-gassing and countless incidents of harrassment?

I'd rather not have a piano to play on than to live there.
(oneinthepink is at your cervix m'lady, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 16:18, closed)

Yup, I have met French people who hate Paris and all who sail in her.
Generally though, France is a wonderful country.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:26, closed)

I can vouch for that.
Went to the south of France on holiday once, and everyone to a man was lovely... even in Marseilles which given what I now know of the city is damned odd.

And every single one of them said to avoid Paris like the very plague.

Paris- so bad, even the French hate it.
( jim_bob can herd cats., Wed 4 Nov 2009, 11:33, closed)

nononono
This was then, things have changed.
Okay, i've been to Paris 3 times. The first two was as you describe: awful.
Last time, this September, it was great and literally everyone was nice. I arrived at Garde du Nord with a backpack and went to put it in the lockers. The xray showed the camping-gas so i was not allowed to leave it there. To much hilarity of the staff i started removing shoes and items of clothing (and more shoes) to get to the gas. When i packed my stuff in a locker they asked me if i wanted a bag for my camping gas. Why, yes.
Some sniggering. Guy rummages in the back and comes out with a Prada bag.
Lolz! Walking around Paris with my campinggear in my posh bag :-)
(Yes, its possible to go camping in Paris. At Maison Laffitte, quite nice. )
(bovine intervention, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 18:35, closed)

Yes but...
My last time there was just two years ago... I also forgot the toilets in Garde du Nord. Fuck me it looked like someone had set off a shit bomb in there. The bowl was full, shit was up the walls, the cistern, the door, it was even on the ceiling. Whoever did this must have stood there with handsful of their own filth and thrown it around like a sprinkler. Incredible.
( difficultchild, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 22:01, closed)

i sympathize
while laughing out loud. What an informative and detailed picture you paint description you wrote :-)
(bovine intervention, Wed 4 Nov 2009, 23:59, closed)