Running...
There have been quite a few incidents, as my formulative years growing up in a relatively small village near grimsby, and the inevitable boredom that comes with that means that you turn to petty crime and criminal damage for something to do.
Things that spring to mind are...

There was a building company putting up new houses in the village, and one night me and my mate thought it would be funny to spell out "f**k off" in bricks. Next night, whilst walking past we see the reply "boll**ks", obviously the builders. So we start to rearrange the bricks again and hear a noise, turn to see a big guy running for us - we run and he starts shouting, we assume to this day that he was one of the pissed off brickies that arrived to work in the morning to find our messase (more likely he was annoyed at the "number two" i used as a full stop.)

Random sillyness with an air rifle and windows, again - couple of chases, one i do remember though - the guy saw us and involved the police, we got a severe talking too both from them and our respective parents, still - revenge was sweet. He had a fish pond in his front garden, but there was tetney lock just down the road (river and weir etc), so a pike was duly caught and dumped in his pond - decimated his fish population LOL....

Now the last running away incident i can remember - i was out in town on the lash with my mate, now i'm not much of a fighter - i dont normally get involved. We are stood at the taxi rank when this guy, out of his head comes up and starts shouting and pushing my mate, now i'd had a bad day and the night hadn't gone that well either so i just turned and hit him as hard as i could - he just turned and looked straight at me, thats when my mate hit him, he turned back to look at him as we both ran as fast as we could..............



*runs
(Aleister Crowleys Badger Nothing to see here, Sun 13 Aug 2006, 0:09, Reply)

Funny story...
When I was about 5, I told my parents I was running away from home. My dad...being the joker that he is...said "Let me help you pack!" He grabbed a brown paper grocery bag, put some clothes and my teddy bear in it, said "Have a good trip.." and set me out on the porch. All was well and good...til he realized I had started to walk down our hill. Then he yelled "GET BACK IN HERE!!" He he he...fun times!!
(Big Mama (a.k.a. Mrs. Fat Bastard), Sun 13 Aug 2006, 0:06, Reply)

I once ran away from home
and the whole scene unfolded in a complex yet comical manner.
(King Baby Duck more than a ceiling, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 23:38, Reply)

Postman
The one thing I'll never forget about my own running away experience, having written a note in highlighter pen to my mum detailing my grievances and reasons for flight in full, was the look of understanding and wry humour on the postman's face as he walked past me in my pyjamas at 7 o'clock on a freezing cold morning, whilst I was standingnext to the front gate. For that brief moment before he dropped of our alloted letters, a bond of real companionship existed between us: he knew exactly what would force five year old me to take such drastic action.

The tale ends not, as many of you dirty-minded perverts might suspect, with the postman taking advantage of this defenceless little boy leaving me scarred for life, oh no, our relationship, although brief, was a thing of spiritual purity and wonder. It does end, however, with me deciding it was just too damn cold after about five minutes and heading back inside before any of the rest of my family had even woken up, leaving my heartfelt departure note humourously superfluous.
(WarneMarsh My priority for frivolity begets quality jollity, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 23:28, Reply)

website blues
Well, there was this one time where me and my mum had a right fallout and I ran off from home at the tender age of 17 because she clicked "I Like This" on some stupid website called Alp|-|a, or something.
(getdown is not spanish, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 23:20, Reply)

idiot...
after a heavy night of drink and drugs in town at the tender age of 17 ish. several of us (6/7) got in a taxi knowing full well we were not going to pay. we arrived at our destination, put on our running spikes, and prepared to 'peg it'. My accomplices took sensible routes to their credit. Myself and my buddy decided to proceed an unorthodox and suicidle path up some unfamiliar stairs. All was well until I caught up with the fat cunt, tripped over his heels and split my head open hilariously on a wall. Much blood and hilarity ensued. 'needless to say' (thanks alan) the taxi driver had the last laugh.
(dukefukem, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 23:12, Reply)

When I was 4
I packed a bag to run away. I'd just got to the front door and mum said,
"What's in the bag?"
"My stuff" I said, "I'm going to live with Auntie Maureen"
I only said her because mum thought she was a nosey old cow.
Anyway, after showing her what was in my bag, Mum said,
"Hang on a minute, you've forgotton clean knickers!"
I nearly went too!
(Mike Literis, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 19:29, Reply)

Wo0
Back when a friend and I were about 5, we discovered that my big sister had left a blank tape in my room near my tape player. Being comic genius's/geniei, we spent a good few minutes recording ourselves saying 'poo,' 'bum,' 'willy' and the like, then playing it back. I don't even think we strung an entire sentence of rude together the entire time.

All was well, until a few months later my sister asked for her tape back. I returned it, then promptly ran away from home, scared to death. I was gone for a good 2 hours, hiding in the woods, shitting myself with fear, and plotting the next step in my new life as a feral child. Turns out there is little to eat in the woods, so I eventually had to go home. No-one had noticed my absence or misdeed, phew. I then spent a good year fearing the inevitable wrath that would unfold upon the release of our swears onto purer ears.

Questioned the sister about this some time last year (we're in our 20's,) and she never even heard them. Ever. Gutted.
(Daveh, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 17:40, Reply)

Spelling It Out
Once, in a fit of pique, I took the letters from the Scrabble box and spelled out "I have ran away to join the circus" right in the middle of the living room carpet before waltzing out of the front door and onto the road to freedom.




I was 24.

Kudos.

Less kudos was gained when I returned from the pub and found my parents not even bothering to look for me. I'd been gone for hours! I expected at least a "where have you been?" but all I got was a "clear that crap off the living room floor before you go to bed you daft drunken sod".

One of these days I just won't come back. Then they'll be sorry. Oh yes!
( Gleeballs is mostly made out of chocolate and hate., Sat 12 Aug 2006, 16:55, Reply)

From Aighburth to the Equator
So the ex-girlfriend from Liverpool (who I never got over, obviously) gets back in touch.

I take a week off work and head up to Liverpool to see whether maybe, just maybe, we can take that resilient little spark of passion, still smouldering after eight years, and with it, reignite the flames of love.

We have one perfect day, after which she declares that she can't handle the intensity of her feelings for me, and blanks me out of her life forever.

So I buy a one-way ticket to Thailand.

It's quite nice here. Bit hot though.
(baz, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 16:44, Reply)

The first time I ran away I was about 7
I had an argument with my ma, and packed my bag of essentials and headed out the door. An old lady stopped me and started going aww as ma ran out the door after me. When I got back in ma opened up my bag. I had packed my football kit, nothing else. I mean what else does a 7 year old need for a roadtrip?
(Mr Bojangles Of London Town, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 15:00, Reply)

Pikey skiver
A colleague of mine at work was known for his habit of 'needing the toilet' at the most inopportune times.

ie. As soon as he went to the loo EVERYONE else would check the monitoring systems for alarms as invariably something was about to break.

Coincidence? Hmmmmm...
(Dionysian Aut viam inveniam aut faciam, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 14:22, Reply)

Brave brave brave brave Sir Robin...
All I can think of is the song Sir Robins minstrels sing in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.... Thanks,I'll be singing that all day.

I have to admit,I have a remarkable talent of running away when things get tough. Aslo have made a habit of saying "right,I'm going....You cant stop me....I'm off....Right now...." And walking very very slowly in the hope someone will follow. Its upsetting when they dont...
(Miharu, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 14:00, Reply)

Rowing away
When I was six, my best freind lived across the road from me. We went to school together, played together, climbed trees together. We even rode on sheep together (not like that you pervs!). I always used to try and hold her hand as I thought she was the sweetest friend you could ever have. (Reached for the sick bags yet?) We both had sisters - I used to argue with my older sister and her little one used to annoy us.

One day I thought it would be a good idea to write her a love letter. Stuck for anything much to say, I rambled on in my very childish hadwriting about how we should get a dingy (there were loads on the beach) and row up the creek and away from everyone and be as happy as larks for ever and ever and we'd finally be rid of the "ugly sisters". Unfortunately the letter was intercepted by her mother and read out to her whole family - we weren't allowed to play together anymore, ever, and I was really upset.

That's possibly when I stopped liking girls.
( Actually i was skiving on, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 13:01, Reply)

Never really ran away as such.
But I did enjoy going for night hikes on my own. I was quite young at the time, and worried that the 'rents wouldn't approve I tended to climb out the bedroom window (ground floor, house built on hill - front door is on the "middle" floor).

Until one day I decided I was big enough and grown up enough to walk out the front door. "Going out for a walk" I said nonchalently when I heard stirring from my parents' bedroom.

"Why don't you climb out the window like normal and not wake us up?" My mum replied.
(Captain Skippy pooed in a bag and left it on your doorstep, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 9:11, Reply)

Fastest time I ran
A few years ago I fell hopelessly in love with my friend (Now onwards called X). Unfortunatly I had a boyf at the time and nothing really came of it (except a whole lot of kissing...). I eventually broke up with my boyf and promptly chased after X. By that time he'd been through a few girls himself and once I got up the courage to confess my undying love for him he had a new one. I was heartbroken. They broke up not soon after.

One day, not long after they'd broken up, I was walking home from the bus and a very old friend of mine was walking in the other direction. The last she'd heard of me was me declaring to my friends that I loved X and was going to chase after him. I told her nothing had come of it but he was now single anyway. She grabbed my mobile, called him up and promptly asked him out for me (very Year 7, but I was 18 at the time). I dropped to my knees in horror and slight curiosity, as she talked to him. He'd apparently told her he was still getting over his ex-girlfriend and told her to tell me to ask him in a month.

Next day, we were both meant to be at TAFE. I got to class early as I always did, waiting for the inevedible teasing and such. I'd finally got it under control when I heard X's voice. I freaked out, stood up and ran out of the classroom, past him (and his NEW GIRLFRIEND!!!!!) and all the way up a few flights of stairs in what seemed like a couple of seconds. For that whole class he apparently asked what was wrong with me, and people told him that I'd gone bright red and ran away for no reason.

That was the fastest I ever ran... And I thought it was horrible of him to not fess up he had a new girlfriend.

A few weeks later, after things had (of course) gone slightly pear-shaped with his new gf, we went to a friend's party, got drunk ("just like old times") and I confessed all - my undying love for him, my regret that I never dumped that boyfriend for him, that his gf was a fucking horse-faced whore who didn't deserve him... You know, all the usual stuff.

Oh yeah, and it's his birthday today
(EasilyRecognisable I’m back baby, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 8:25, Reply)

I ran away to Cape Town
I had a huge fight with my family and just packed my bags. I had a really old 1981 Golf which I didn't think would make it. It's about 1500km from Johannesburg to Cape Town.

Just as I was leaving, my sister asked me if she could come along. So we bundled all my stuff in the little golf and took off. She said she would fly back.

So we get onto the turnoff of the highway to Cape Town, and there's a bloody traffic cop stopping people! Right there! Our great gettaway and there's a f.beep cop on the f. TURNOFF! He waved me over. I thought "Maybe he'll think I didn't see him and he'll let me go", so I put my foot down and drove onto the highway. In my review mirror, I see him sprinting for his car to chase me. My sister is shouting "YOU BETTER STOP! HE'S RUNNING FOR HIS CAR!" so I slowed and reversed back to where he was.

He was quite sweet actually, and we managed to charm him into letting us go without a ticket. Sheesh! What a start to our adventure! But we had great fun in Cape Town and it all got sorted out in the end.
(49773, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 7:06, Reply)

This the second time I "ran away"
This time I'm living with my parents but after staying with my Grandparents I had gotten used to being very independent so when I decided to go tadpole hunting it never even occurred to me to tell anyone where I was going(I was four years old)

I made some sandwiches put them in a Wonder bread plastic bag with a can of soda I took my tricycle(that had a wagon attached to the back) and hit the road...I traveled about a half a mile pedaling my trike on the highway to my friend's house...he had a similar Wonder bread bag and sat in the wagon with his feet out the back so he could push us along as I was really tired from pedaling that far

We went down a dead end road part way between our houses where there was a small stream with plenty of frogs and tadpoles...after eating all our food we used the bags to catch tadpoles...we both were completely covered in mud when we decided to go home

I took him back to his house and I hosed myself off in his milk house figuring my Mom would never know I had been gone if I was still clean

Once I got close to my house I noticed about a dozen cars in our driveway...my first thought was a party was going on and I was missing it but as I got even closer I saw the men had maps on the picnic table and were assigning areas for search parties...looking for me

It seems when I parents couldn't find me they called everyone in the county to find me...as I rolled into the driveway it got very quiet...one of the men called for my Mom to come outside and when she saw me...as first she was worried I might be hurt but when I saw I wasn't hurt...I got hauled into the house with all the men laughing...once inside you can guess what happened next

BTW At the time I was an only child so it was noticed fairly quickly I was missing but my friend had six siblings and everyone thought he was with someone else so he didn't get into trouble...until my Mom called his Mom and told her what we had done
(Inventor of the slipless banana peel, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 3:51, Reply)

loony indeed
In January of last year, I was put in the loony hospital for suicidal depression and anxiety. I was good, stayed the whole week and a half. But the girl in the room next to me..oh dear.
She was admitted about two days after I was, and she seemed normal, as most of my fellow patients were. During the times that we were to stay in our rooms, I would constantly hear the girl banging on her window and yelling "HEY! HEEEEY! HEY YOU! LET ME OUT!" at the people in the street(who were amusingly frightened) and trying to break the window(which was covered in a locked metal cage with steel mesh). Half the night.
One afternoon she actually barged into my room(a very punishable offence for both of us) to check my own window. After a while she decided to give up and instead try and run out of the unit while no one was looking. Of course the door was locked, she kept trying to open it though, which caused the nurse to notice and call a "code 1" on her, which means that all the strongest nurses in the entire hospital will run to assist. She was put in a padded isolation cell for the rest of the time I was there, but continued her "HEY LET ME OUT" routine.
I kinda miss the place..entertainment abound y'know.
( trintrin has jam for blood, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 3:29, Reply)

It was an honest misunderstanding
When I was three years old I lived on a farm with my Grandparents

My Grandpa was milking the cows and I was "helping"...too much so and he tells me to "get lost"....after about ten minutes of peace and quiet he gets worried and decided to check on me...he gets to the end of the barn and off in the distance about a quarter of a mile was me walking off into the woods

He quickly removed the milkers off the cows and went after me...once there he's all ready to have a conniption fit and he asks me why I was going into the woods and I tell him..."You told me to get lost!"

That got him laughing so I thought I wasn't in any trouble but once we got back to the barn he picks me up and sticks me on a hook on a door...he hung me from the back of my coat two feet off the ground so I couldn't pester him or run off again while he finished milking
(Inventor of the slipless banana peel, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 3:26, Reply)

Good ol' child logic
This a long one. When i was about 7 or so I was biking outside the front of my house with my best mate at the time (who still is actually even if he's a "bit" of a chav). Anyway we see coloured smoke rising up and wonder what it is, but realise we don't know where it is. Eentually my best mate from school rides along and tells us the paint factory is on fire. "Cool" say we, and off we go to see the pretty colours (and inhale paint fumes). All the way out of town and down at an industrial estate. Next thing we know it's 7.00 and it's past our 6 o'clock curfew. Normal logic would say "Oh crap! Lets get home as fast as we can so we don't get in trouble" Child logic says "Oh crap! We can't go home now! Let's run away!" So we did. As far as my best friend from schools house. We got dinner in order to avoid going back, and hung out riding around out the front insisting our parents knew we were here and we were allowed out so late. Eventually (around 11pm) my friends mum seeminly called our parents on the sly and they were promptly around to pick us up. Unfortunately my parents aren't the forgiving kind and I couldn't ride my bike for a week, not because I wasn't allowed but because i couldn't sit down.

Lately though I discovered child logic never really dies. After a day of getting stoned/boozed up at my old house. I went home to discover I'd lost my keys. Started knocking loudly and shouting my arse off and getting no reply even though the kitchen light was on. Instead of waiting a couple of mins I decided if I wasn't wanted I wasn't going to stay. Bear in mind this was about midnight, and so I thought my dad was just refusing to open the door. I decided I'd go to my brother's flat and try and kip there. Near the town centre. About an hours's walk away... So off I go, 45 minutes later only to discover my brother's not in. "Crap... Well I can't go back home, and I can't get into my old house, hmmmm... I'm a reasonably good looking fellow." (I was drunk at the time) "Maybe I can pull some ugly slapper coming out of the clubs and have a place to stay" this was a sound plan except
1. I'm not attractive.
2. It's a sunday night/monday morning and the clubs are dead.
After a load of time wandering around the desrted town center I hear a "Hey there, don't I know you from somewhere" and turn around to be greeted by 2 chavvy yet quite fit (drunken state) girls. We spark up some fags and a convo but no matter how many veiled allusions are made to going back to hers 'Ayesha' ain't biting. And her friend looks completely disinterested. Eventually I settle for her number and realise the plan isn't going to work, and I need to find somewhere to sleep. I walk back to the park near my house, get to the bench and get maybe 2 hours of uncomfortable sleep, but wake up to the most fantastic dawn ever. After an hour of just watching the dawn, I decide to get home, and on the way lose Ayesha's number (written on fag carton) to possible prostitute Debbie. Now Debbie was interesting. Gold teeth, gian hooped earrings and trackies, voice completely buggered by chain-smoking, wrinkles of a 90 year old when she was possibly 25. She was round her boyfriend/whatevers house at 5am shouting for the £5 he owed her so she could get some fags. Of course I offered her one, which became 2 whilst Debbie griped to me about life in general. Even pointed out her house to me which I thought was cool, might've been the start of a beautiful friendship. Then she grabbed my arse and I realised it was time to go. Bastard thing is when I got in my folks had just thought I was sleeping at my old house, and hadn't actually tried to lock me out but had come to the door after I had prematurely left and thought it was just kids. My brother's whose flat I was gonna go to had actually been the one in the kitchen and had fallen asleep there. Semi-ran away and wasn't even missed. Damned Child logic.

And again length runs in the family.
(Habacock, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 3:13, Reply)

Weird stalking
Not my main stalker girl but a different one-off stalking. Was in year 4 or 5, and during lunch had inadvertently wandered into the year 6 toilets to find two year 6s doing "things" to each other. I of course ran out, and didn't think anything of it. Later in the afternoon I was walking home when i noticed the girl from earlier and a friend had been following me all the way home. I stopped and tried to act like I was checking my bag to let them go in front of me and make sure they were't following me. They did and I started walking again. Then oddly they stopped and started talking and pointing to something and let me get in front again. I thought this was a bit weird and after another while decided to stop and tie my shoelaces to let them get in front again. Again they went then stopped and let me get in front, and this time I started speeding up my walking. They sped up too and started giggling menacingly and almost caught up to me before i got scared ****less and ran all the way back home. They chased me for a bit too.

Never happened again and I never saw her after she left school until a year ago at a friend's engagement party. She recognized me, I pulled her, her dad was not best pleased. Told me to I'd have a broken jaw when I tried to get her phone number (He'd told me to **** off before). Never did find out what the chase was about...

Apologies for length, I'm told it's genetic.
(Habacock, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 1:52, Reply)

Not me but a mate
He was about three or four at the time and he used to like going everywhere on one of those old plastic cars with the pedals (surely you must remember them)

One particular day he and his mum had been shopping at the local sainsburys supermarket which was about a mile and a half away, and due to his bad behaviour he had been told he wasn't allowed any sweets. When they got home he was let out to play in the front garden (20 odd years ago this was considered a safe practice)...Incensed at the lack of treats he thought he would go back and get some himself so he hopped on his little plastic car thing and set off.

It was about 20 minutes before his mum realised he wasn't playing out the front and she called the police after knocking on a few neighbours doors. About an hour or so later the rozzers found the little speed demon peddling his little car along the pavement quite happily, oblivious to the trouble he caused......He was only a few hundred yards away from the supermarket.

He never did get them sweets!!
(jidler changed his name on, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 1:41, Reply)

In year 4 in primary school...
... my entire class was kept in during break time for being naughty. One boy, called Anthony left the class to go outside, and somehow nobody saw him leave.

Anthony was one of the nicest most well behaved kids ever, the kind of guy who would sit and work even if there was no teacher, purely because that was what he was there to do.

Anyhow, whilst the class sat there, in silence, doing nothing at all, Anthony came round to the classroom window and began gloating and jeering. The teacher saw him and demanded that he come in immediately.
"No!" ejaculated Anthony, "I've done nothing wrong!"
The teacher went outside to fetch him, but that involved going the complete opposite way, leaving the building, and coming back on herself the entire length of the classroom to reach him.

Anthony wasn't the smartest kid ever, but he could tell what was coming. To avoid the telling off he would surely recieve, he ran away from school.

For about an hour the whole school was kept in the main hall, because half the teachers were out trying to track him down...

Eventually, Mrs. Pye (Best head-teacher ever) found him at his house, a ten minute walk away from school, making himself a peanut butter sandwhich.

That was a good seven years ago, now. Mrs. Pye has since left and the new head-teacher has had security fences put u[ all around the school. Suffice to say it doesn't look as inviting as it once did.

Also, while I'd been attending the school, they'd been saving up computers for schools vouchers, and had splashed out on a new IT lab, to be completed during the summer holidays after my year left. When the new head teacher started working there in the september, she quickly claimed the IT lab as her office, because it was bigger. Bitch.
(tero if I had a website, this is where I would plug it, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 1:12, Reply)

The concencus amongst swans is that I am
not a very nice person and must be hissed and chased away. I've never met a swan who hasn't chased me.

(also: we need more QOTWs about people shitting themselves and falling over).
( stevierar, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 1:08, Reply)

Mummy I'm dead!
i never ran away as such, but i did pretend to be dead rather a lot.
it involved lying on the floor, then shouting "mummy i'm dead!"

never really saw the flaw in my plan.
think i did it because my little siser got attention when she hurt herself, and for me to top her, being dead was the only option.

i got the best in the end, she fell off the kitchen worktop.
attention seeking? moi? nah.
(RooRooRasputin Lover of the Russian Queen, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 0:43, Reply)

Not away from home, but very much away
Despite being a sweet and innocent looking young girl, fresh faced and blonde, for some reason old people always hate me. You know how in horror films, dogs start barking at the approach of evil? It's much the same with me. All I have to do is walk past a Nursing Home and you can hear the inmates wailing and pissing themselves in sheer outrage at my presence. Fortunately, I don't like old people much either, so this generally doesn't bother me.

A few years back, when I was still attending Sixth Form College, we had free periods, during which we were allowed to roam the local town in our school uniforms, being model members of society, etc. So I was taking advantage of this, and had wandered out to get a sandwich and enjoy the sunshine and a brief respite from Organic Chemistry. A little old lady appears out of nowhere, her hunchback casting a shadow of gloom on the pavement before her, glaring up at me through NHS specs and a cloud of fluffy white hair.

'Shouldn't you be in school?'

'I have a free period at the moment,' I replied, very pleasantly, and attempted to sidestep her.

'DON'T LIE!' she screeched, and started hitting me wildly with her handbag, still wailing like a wrinkly siren. This left me with a dilemma. I could fight back, and be an out of control teenage granny-beater or I could try and reason with her. Except she was hitting me pretty hard, and I didn't like it. So I ran. I ran as fast as possible.

These days, I cross the road when I see an old person coming.
(That's Just Not Funny, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 0:41, Reply)

I ran....Iraq
As far as I'm concerned, they should both be flattened!

How's that for length! First post. Wooyay!
(Boothilda, Sat 12 Aug 2006, 0:03, Reply)