
I'm broke, you're broke, we're all broke. Even the smug guy on the balcony with the croissant hasn't got two AmEx gold cards to rub together these days. Tell everybody your schemes to save cash.
( , Thu 10 Nov 2011, 18:09)
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Feeling Skint?
Life got you down? Can't pay the bills?
Have you considered a career in petty crime?
Reduces household costs! Pays £££££!
With petty crime, expensive things can be made cheap or even free!
Phone 01555-USTEAL for more information.
* * *
Broke?
No sign of a promotion in sight, but don't fancy life as a criminal?
Try - ALL NEW - being a bit of a dick!
By being a bit of a dick, you can avoid all the expensive costs associated with being responsible, considerate or honest!
**Want to get wasted in a pub but don't fancy paying pub prices?**
Just sneak in with your own drink in a hipflask like some scummy student! After all, it's not like some paying customer could be using that seat you're sat on.
**Don't want to pay the council to take that fridge away?**
Ever wonder what the grass on roundabouts is for?
**Other half costing you too much money?**
Replace them with someone who has much lower self esteem! Works wonders - save real money on pretty frocks and divorce settlements!
**Spending too much on hobbies and interests?**
Try developing a weary, cynical attitude to all forms of culture - all that music and film and art is shit these days anyway - right?
**Pissing away money on your kids?**
Pretend likes it's 1954, and start instilling some real discipline!
Become a tight arsed, penny pinching, joyless, anti-social misanthrope today, and receive a free pen!
Remember - why should you have to pay just because everybody else does?
Call 0906 664 3130 today!
( , Mon 14 Nov 2011, 14:39, 3 replies)

Since my decision to save money by not using my brakes I am constantly crashing into mini-roundabouts full of fridges.
Please advise.
( , Mon 14 Nov 2011, 15:01, closed)
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