Beer soaked accidental trauma
I've been a loyal wingman to Woody ever since the days of Sixth Form. At the time of this tale, Woody had been working as a nurse in A&E and as such the nights out became ever more beer soaked and debauched, but on this fateful evening, in the depths of some dingy nightclub he needed absolutely no help whatsoever, for a lass accosted him at the bar. We were all a bit the worse for wear at this point, she was clearly just as hammered as we were.

“I know you from somewhere don’t I?” she slurred.
“You do look familiar, but I can’t place the face. Fancy a beer?”

And with that they spent the next hour getting reacquainted, drinking and flirting, so the rest of us left them to their own devices for a while. When we found them again, they were enthusiastically snogging on a grubby, booze stained sofa, in a manner that suggested that the pair of them would be doing the no pants dance before the night was out.

Sure enough, she tagged along to Woody’s place and disappeared into his room with him as I made myself comfortable on the spare room sofa and drifted off in a miasma of beer addled sleep, trying to ignore the sound of enthusiastic shagging coming from the room next door.

I was abruptly awakened at seven-ish in the morning by the sound of rapid footsteps, female sobbing and the front door closing. What the fuck was that all about?

Shaken from my hangover and on the pretext of having to visit the bathroom, I popped my head around the door of the lounge to find out what had happened and sure enough, there sat a traumatised Woody in his jeans looking as if his entire world had just caved in.

“You alright mate? What the fuck just happened?” I asked

“I thought she looked familiar...” he replied, as he scratched his head and stared at the carpet.

“Come on, spill the beans, who was it?”

“Well, last year we had bloke ambulanced in who’d been in an RTA” he said

“Yeah...” I replied

“Well, he didn't make it. I was on duty that night”.

“Oh shit. Tell me that wasn't his sister?” I asked.

“No, it’s worse. That was his girlfriend. And I was the one who broke her the bad news that night. I didn't place the face until ten minutes ago.”
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:27, 17 replies)

This.
Sincerely.

To win.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:30, closed)

So when your mate cops off with a girl
you gooseberry back to his place? Aint you got a home to got to?!

Also don't the doctors do the bad news breaking? (they do on Holby anyroad ;) )

also why was it such a drama shagging the nurse who cared for your deceased boyfriend??

Discombobulated is what I am
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:40, closed)

Generally speaking, bad news breaking is, whenever possible, carried out by two people.
We've got one particularly autistic consultant who won't talk to relatives full stop without someone else there.
( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:48, closed)

The old "good cop, bad cop" routine?

(Elephant Balderdash attempting to bottle the absurd, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:49, closed)

Hahahahahaha

( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:50, closed)

:D

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, closed)

Oh, you massive cunt.

( Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, closed)

*Applauds*

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:53, closed)

Seems sensible

(Brigadier an old boot sitting on a man's face - forever, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 17:19, closed)

you mean that Holby City isn't true to life!!1!eleven!!
I've been lied to and now I feel dirty and used
(sittingduck Attention seeking, bullshitting fuck-knuckle, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, closed)

Well...
1) I had a girlfriend at the time...and given that Woody lived thirty miles away from my home, I needed somewhere to crash.
2) Pass, you'd have to ask Woody.
3) Pass, you'd have to ask her.
(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:55, closed)

HE LIVES!
Hello darling x
( Monty Boyce, My cheese game is strong, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:47, closed)

Hello Monty!

(Bicycle Repairman "you're also a bit of a wanker", Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:56, closed)

Ouch.

( Enzyme is powered by sunlight, Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:51, closed)

^ What he said.

( Davros' Granddad a voice of calm reason in a world of spastics., Fri 11 Jan 2013, 15:55, closed)

Your mate Woody
He's got a friend in you.
(Barnetboy, Sun 13 Jan 2013, 17:05, closed)

Ooooooh...

And once more, Oooooohhh.

That's just, well...blimey.

*Cringe clicks*
( Pooflake braces for an onslaught..., Mon 14 Jan 2013, 10:00, closed)