Is this schadenfreude or justified gloating?
“It could be worse. It could be my problem.” I’ve lived my life by those words. I have also made a habit out of not getting involved in what Douglas Adams described in his Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy books as “S.E.P. Events”, S.E.P. standing for “Somebody Else’s Problem”.

Early one Saturday morning I was parked up in a supermarket car park waiting for a song to finish on the radio before I braved the rat race that is Tescos. I watched a plump middle-aged woman park a bright yellow Nissan Micra into an empty space in the row in front of me. I was idly thinking that she had parked a bit close to the car next to her when she had a change of mind and attempted to reverse back out of the space, however, she started turning the steering wheel much too soon…”Crump” was the noise the front of her car made as it connected with the side of the car next to her. “Doh!” I muttered, subconsciously logging it as an S.E.P. event. She then proceeded to do that thing that drivers do when they get flustered, that backwards and forwards lurching without actually turning the steering wheel, making the same mistake again and again and again. It was painful to watch, backwards and forwards she went, the actual trajectory of her vehicle not changing, smack, smack, smack into the car beside her…

I had to stop her; she had given up any illusions of avoiding the other car and was slowly screeching the nose of her car down the side of the other, the sound of metal on metal was like nails down a blackboard to me. I ran over and banged on her window, “Stop! Please, just…stop!” She wound her window and snarled “WHAT?!” “You keep driving into that car” I stated. “No I don’t” she replied. “I watched you do it” I countered. “Well, he shouldn’t have parked so close to me”. I really didn’t want to get into an argument with her so I told her to drive back into the space, straighten her wheels and then reverse out completely before turning. When she was finally out I said “Let me just check that your wheel arch hasn’t buckled into your tyre” to which she replied “Oh do piss off” and promptly drove away.

Up until that point I had had no intention of getting involved any further, but her final comment had well and truly ground my gears. I whipped out my mobile and made a note of her number plate. I then returned to my car and wrote out a full report of the incident, including descriptions of the driver, the car, date, time and her number plate. I signed it and left my phone number. I folded the report up inside a carrier bag and left it under the windscreen wiper of the damaged car. To cut a long story short, the bloke who owned the car received a super-fast insurance payout from the daft cow in the Micra and she was contacted by the police (but no further action was taken). I get a warm fuzzy feeling of Schadenfreude every time I think about her losing her no claims bonus and having to explain herself to the plod.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:32, 6 replies)

They shall now forever call you...
Colonel 'Justice' Dracula
Nice 1
*click*
(Eggstrovert isnt patronising you...honest..., Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:40, closed)

Ha!
I soon returned to my normal "it could be worse, it could be my problem" outlook on life.
( Colonel Dracula Two manky hookers and a racist dwarf, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 12:44, closed)

That's superb!
She totally deserved what she got. I can't stand ignorant folk like that.

Have a click sir.
( Fat Fred too weird to live, too rare to die, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:13, closed)

I wish I'd had your presence of mind
This happened to me in Waitrose's car park except that I was actually sitting in the car when some woman who was way too old to be driving left a nice dent in the side of my car.

I got out to have a word but the old bat just drove off completely oblivious to what she had done. Did I think to make a note of her number? No. I think I was just too shocked.

Funnily enough, a few weeks later an old bloke (in the same bloody car park) reversed out of a space into my car while I was stuck in a queue despite me tooting at him about five times. Every time I sounded my horn he stopped for a few seconds and then carried on. Luckily by the time he made contact with my car he was going so slowly there was no damage.

I don't shop there any more.
(BearWithLittleBrain, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 13:39, closed)

I think you'll find there was some damage
Namely a dent in the side. If he was such a stupid Mr Magoo to hit you, he deserves to pay for the old dear's damage. Maybe he'll stay off the road then before he hits someone on a motorbike.
(Rsoles, Mon 21 Dec 2009, 20:35, closed)

As someone who lives on a main road...
and has to replace wing mirrors on a daily basis (stupid VW Golf mirrors that fold about 1/4 of an inch in) due to unknown drivers swiping them off in the night, I heartily approve of this sort of thing.
( Sonic James Doom forgetting the date since... umm..., Wed 23 Dec 2009, 11:50, closed)