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This is a question School Projects

MostlySunny wibbles, "When I was 11 I got an A for my study of shark nets - mostly because I handed it in cut out in the shape of a shark."

Do people do projects that don't involve google-cut-paste any more? What fine tat have you glued together for teacher?

(, Thu 13 Aug 2009, 13:36)
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At school, I was never particularly good at maths or science but I excelled at English (oh, those were the days).
When I was young and innocent, I should say around 11-12 perhaps, we were instructed by our Biology teacher to do a project on the reproductive process. I stalled and stalled and finally, exasperated, the teacher offered me a way out.
"As you're so interested in English subjects rather than the sciences, why not write a poem?"
Brilliant! thinks I. And so I set to work.

I'd just like to point out that this *was* back in the day and JUST before all innocence was lost and I set about it with gusto.
Upon handing it in I noticed the teacher was very pleased. In fact she seemed extraordinarily pleased. She was certainly smiling a lot.
She gave me an A* immediately. But that's not all.

She later came up to me in the halls and asked if I would like to do something special as my poem was so good. She asked that I write it out on a HUGE piece of A1 paper "complete with illustrations" for display and I would get extra credit.
Revelling in for once being the star Science student, I did this also with relish and gusto.

A few years later, I found out why I was given this extra special treatment... I was allowed into the staffroom where I saw my work of art displayed in a VERY prominent position.
There, in all its glory, was my unintentionally hilarious, extremely detailed and highly emotive poem about sexual intercourse, complete with smiley faced sperm all over the page.
I can't remember all of it although I believe the highlight of the poem was reaching the crescendo of the "sperm's race":

"Faster and faster they race fit to burst.
Who will be the winner? Who will come first?
Harder and harder blood pumps to keep it firm.
And then!
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSH! Here comes the sperm!"*

I'd wondered why different teachers kept muttering "Whoosh" around me. :o( Bastards.

First post. Please be gentle. Apologies for length - you should have seen the full poem!

*Ok, so I wasn't exactly Coleridge, admittedly...
(, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 16:21, 8 replies)
That is rather splendid.
(, Sun 16 Aug 2009, 21:45, closed)
You must have been
(, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 0:02, closed)
Clicks you sir.

(, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 0:47, closed)
Might "flesh this out" and write it in crayon.

Then leave a copy in the staffroom here.
(, Mon 17 Aug 2009, 5:03, closed)
(, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 16:57, closed)
Funniest thing I've read in ages! :D
(, Tue 18 Aug 2009, 23:16, closed)
So good
that I changed my board sig in homage. Massive *click* from me
(, Wed 19 Aug 2009, 11:15, closed)
Wow. Thanks for your comments and clicks - means a lot to a shy first timer like me! chart cat - it truly is an honour.
*blushes some more and hides behind mummy's skirts*
(, Thu 20 Aug 2009, 9:31, closed)

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