Dirty France
Now, I have a deeply embedded hatred for france** and all things french**.. this is partially (not wholly) why this is.

We went to france** when I was about 13 for a school holiday. I was mugged by a bunch of dirty frogs about 4 years older than me, punched in the head and me bag nicked. Queue a large gang of 30 school mates noticing what happened and started chasing the group of frogs, they ran like the wind and eventually dropped my backpack which contained...... a sarnie and an empty can of pop.

The holiday was made considerable better when we all realised that at the age of 13 we were well within our rights to buy booze in france, so we all purchased several mini-bottles of martini each for about a franc and a half and proceeded to get drunk every night.

I decided to smuggle some back with me to england and jammed a load of bottles into my toiletry bag (while I was drunk) and subsequently forgot I had put them there. When we were leaving, have a guess what item I left in my room? Yepp, toiletry bag, I remembered at the last minute (and also remembered the booze situation) so said to the teacher i was going to make a run back to the challet to fetch it.... no, teacher wanted to go for me, found bag, found booze in it then she kicked me in the face, stole my booze and left me in france to make my own way home*



*some of this sentance may not be true
** I don't consider france an actual country (more of a congregation of shit) so it does not deserve a capital letter at the beginning


French women say that the girth is all that matters..
(ShavenLunatic says touch your nose!, Tue 12 Dec 2006, 13:43, Reply)