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This is a question Screwing up at work

Someone on the security team signed off that a fake bomb had been recovered at Old Trafford when it hadn't. Cue one controlled explosion and a postponed soccer game. Tell us your tales of workplace screw ups and the consequences of your mistakes.

(, Tue 17 May 2016, 8:59)
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Splish splash.
I worked as a carer in an aged-care facility.

One day the cleaner came to me and showed me that there was a small leak on the pipe from the tap to her cleaning mix container. As we had no handyman and I was one of only two blokes who worked there it often fell to me to conduct these sorts of "minor" repairs. It would've meant having to call in the plumber otherwise which could mean up to 2 days wait.
The leak was on the reinforced pipe that was connected to the mains tap and fed into the cleaning fluid. The tap was always on and obviously the pipe was under pressure. When the cleaner pressed the pump on top of the cleaning fluid bottle it released a valve which fed a measured amount of cleaning fluid and water into their bucket using the water pressure from the tap.

The leak on the pipe was tiny but because it was under pressure it was pissing out a small stream constantly. As one end of the pipe was fitted to the tap I got some garden hosepipe with the correct fitting, cut it to length and instead of using a bolt (as was on the reinforced pipe) I attached the other end to the spigot with an o-ring and tightened it with a screwdriver.
"Should be right as rain." I thought to myself as I toddled off for my 3 day break. At least I knew that the cleaner would be able to do her job over the next couple of days should she need to. Then again, she worked the same days I did...

I didn't get the usual flurry of calls from work on Monday afternoon but thought nothing of it. I went in on Tuesday morning and did notice that there was some new carpet in the area where the cleaner's cupboard was. This was a bit of a surprise as part of my job was liaising with and organizing the carpet layer's to come in and that part of the facility wasn't due to have had new carpet. I didn't think too much of it as I went into the cupboard to get something and noticed that my bodgey job had been replaced by a brand new shiny reinforced pipe.
"Oh good," I thought "at least the plumbers got to that yesterday."

I was eventually called into the managers office once they had arrived where I was met by both the facility and regional managers. Both lovely ladies. Both with intense scowls and frowns on their faces. I was in the shit. Big time. I was asked about my fixit job, I took them through what I'd done and why - at the time it seemed a bit strange to have all this attention on such a seemingly mundane job but, who knows, right? Then I asked why?

As it happened -
My hosepipe, having been under pressure - split. At about 5 am on Sunday morning. Flooding the hallway with water and frothy, slippery cleaning fluid. The sound of the pipe bursting and water flowing woke a few of the surrounding residents who came out of their now flooding rooms to see what was happening. One of which slipped on the wet carpet and fell injuring his hip.
The staff managed to eventually get the locked cupboard open, turned off the tap and called the plumber (thinking it was a burst water mains pipe).
The resident was taken to hospital by ambulance and the carpet contractor attended the next day, laying all new carpet and underlay in a long stretch of hallway and 3 rooms.

The eventual insurance bill was for over 11 thousand dollars and the gentleman that fell over never fully recovered - he did not return to our facility and was sent to another higher care based facility upon being released from hospital. The cost of an off the shelf reinforced pipe that would fit perfectly and not burst for at least a few years from the local hardware warehouse? About 20 bucks.

I didn't have to do anymore repair jobs there. Ever.

Man fixes pipe, wrecks carpet and inadvertently injures elderly gentleman.
(, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:41, 101 replies)
alright Rob Fairholme

(, Tue 31 May 2016, 21:58, closed)

View post on imgur.com
(, Tue 31 May 2016, 22:26, closed)
alright Sob Carehome

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 7:48, closed)
Fucking tragic.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:18, closed)
and that's not the first time you made the elderly residents all wet!

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 9:43, closed)
Just marking my place in this thread on the off chance that it becomes the first QOTW thread in ages to get 100s of replies.
I mean, it won't, but here I am, bumping up the count, anyway.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 10:03, closed)
^^ This ^^

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 11:26, closed)
OK I'll see if /talk can help

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 11:43, closed)
No fucking chance

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:34, closed)
Oh well I tried

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:01, closed)
I remember when this was a comedy website
where people posted stories, that were funny, quirky, odd, risible, whimsical, riotous, hilarious, giggle-inducingly cringeworthy and many other types of entertaining anecdotal styles.

Your story is none of those things
(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 11:49, closed)
It's blatant lies though
so there's that at least
(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 11:58, closed)
Surely it's risible and cringeworthy.
Just not giggle-inducingly so.
(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 14:18, closed)
it's risibly cringeworthy, I'll let Rob Fairholme have that one

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 22:24, closed)
Complete bullshit.

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 12:06, closed)
do not believe his lies

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 13:02, closed)
R** F******** is really John G?

(, Wed 1 Jun 2016, 22:59, closed)

(, Sun 5 Jun 2016, 15:51, closed)
everybody hates rob fairholme and mock his remedial class attempts at creative writing yet he keeps coming back in spite of a 'ban on sight' order!

(, Sun 5 Jun 2016, 19:15, closed)

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