In keeping with the rad sports
I used to skateboard. I was pretty rad, as it happens - I could get a bit of air off a halfpipe, and was only a few slams from doing handplants. I won't bore you with all the silly names for tricks, but suffice to say that on a good day I really wasn't too bad, and could "cut quite a dash" as us "skaters" are wont to say.

One day, I was rolling out of the skatepark, at about 0.01 miles an hour, and hit a small piece of gravel, which stopped me dead, forcing me to lurch forwards, my skateboard to fly out from under me, and for me to hit the deck, and break my fucking wrist.

Upsettingly, I was 26 at the time, and had to explain this to everyone I met at the wedding I went to that weekend, and then at work, where I was soundly mocked with offers from people to buy me an Action Man to cheer me up, or a Slush Puppy or similar.
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 11:39, 5 replies)

i cut my balls while shaving
wanna see?
( The Doveston haunted by the memory of his own amnesia, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:43, 3 replies)

YOU WILL PERISH IN FLAME!
YOU AND YOUR KIND!
( Je suis un vagabond is an unfunny, up your own arse middle class knob, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:33, 3 replies)

Ya, I totes did some rad sports and been left with a few lumps. Don't like to talk about it.

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 10:12, 3 replies)

Advice I wish I'd been given
Don't try to jump a 40ft gap while kite skiing if there isn't enough wind.

Don't ski off piste in a white-out.

Don't cycle down the union canal at 4am after drinking all night or if you do, watch out for bridge supports.

If you're cycling downhill at 30mph in the dark and the rain, try to remember where the bends are.

If you've never done a particular power kite trick before, the first day of your holiday is ABSOLUTELY the best time to try it.

If you must drop a heavy suitcase in relief that you've arrived, be sure of where your foot is. Especially if it's the first day of your holiday.

Your friend Alex has a VERY clean set of patio doors. Watch out for them.

You know that thing that always makes your back play up? Never do it in a room full of people. Having to ask them to lift you off the ground because you can't move is embarrassing.

If you are cycling with spd pedals for the first time, don't forget you're wearing them. The indignity of toppling over very slowly in front of a line of traffic is worse than the actual pain.
( MatJ LOOK, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 9:20, 29 replies)

Not mine.
But it was fun to watch.

I was a Yr. 11 leader on the Yr. 8 camps. My school did this to promote "leadership" in the older kids and also scare the living beejesus out of the younger ones - I experienced both.

On the first night of a 3 day hike I watched as the kids did all the dumb things you do on a 3 day hike on a yr. 8 camp. Like pour some metho from the trangia stove fuel bottles onto one of your hands, passing your hand quickly thru the fire and then even more quickly clapping the resulting flames out and smothering it with your hand towel if needed.

Then I watched James do it. James was a bit different from us (I use that collectively as the human race). James poured the metho, rubbed his hands vigorously together and then wiped them on the hand towel I presumed he was going to use to smother the flames. Covering all liberally in methylated spirits. I quietly grabbed my towel and got ready to move.
James passed his hand thru the fire's flames, clapped his hands together, squeaked, grabbed his towel and within about a second was staring at two burning hands and a flaming flannel. I threw my towel over him and managed to douse the flames with little more than a very surprised James and some of his singed hair.
And then I laughed. A lot. Bladder control may have come into play.

The following night James placed an un-opened can of baked beans on the fire near his groups tent. I pitched my hootchie a good distance away from the group with my own fire by habit. NCO in cadets - you learn a few things. ;)
Middle of the night there's a WHOOMP! followed by lots of splattering sounds.
Does getting the shit kicked out of you by the other groups who had to sleep another night in sticky baked bean encrusted tents and then clean them and all their other gear when they got back count towards James as a self inflicted injury?

EDIT: My apologies - it was a roasted bean.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 5:15, 7 replies)

Electric Typewriter (Look it up, kids) Fingertip Remover
Typing last term paper, put the last sheet into the carriage--didn't look quite straight. Reach up with right hand, touch paper; left hand by habit already hit "return"--ZING--bing! Knew it was bad, but couldn't make myself pull my hand out from under my arm where I'd instinctively hidden it. WTF, reflex? Worst part: still had to finish a semester-long handwritten journal project. Only I'd never started it. Agonizing night clutching different pens with only 3 fingers and trying to slightly alter handwriting for realism. In the end, it was all the cuneiform scratches, with blood spots here and there. Might have fooled the prof except I had to turn in the notebook while sporting a huge bandage on my finger. What was left healed. More or less.
(Mrs.Fonebone, Thu 5 Dec 2013, 4:03, 1 reply)