The other day I went to grab something and bent a nail back.
It left a white mark about halfway up the nail. Absolute agony. Worse than childbirth and kidney stones and shingles and I should know, I've had them all.
Contemplating this, although i'm obviously a tough guy with huge pain tolerance honed by years of poverty and hard living, I'd have succumbed instantly to that Japanese torture method of whacking bamboo splinters under the nails that people used to talk about when I was a kid.
Or was that the Chinese? Anyway,Burma railway. We should never forget what they did to our boys. Cruel people, they're just not like us, eating rice every day. I wouldn't eat that muck, there's cat and alsation dog in it, I'm a meat and two veg man, always have been.
Where was I? Where the hell are my glasses?
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 13:32, 11 replies)

I'm most interested
In the bit where a tough guy gives birth.
(Eukanuba, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 14:40, closed)

I gave birth this morning
to a thriving 8lb 2oz turd.
(the other guy not the one that gave you coochie warts, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 15:40, closed)

I wouldn't lie, this is qotw.

( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 22:31, closed)

It takes a real man to ensure childbirth.
Most of us just let a woman handle it.
( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 20:17, closed)

You've just got to tough it out.
That, and lie.
( Infidel , shit and wrong, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 22:31, closed)

I'm pretty sure I "ensured"
my experience with childbirth, the night I ejaculated semen into my wife's vagina.
(s0ckpuppet logging out to reply to you if you're not careful, Sun 1 Dec 2013, 22:55, closed)

I ensured my own birth, like a real man should...
I used my own mothers womb of course, but it's not like she did any of the hard work;
I totally bossed it and clambered out on my own recognisance.
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 9:19, closed)

Wasn't this documented in Body Melt?

( monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 11:48, closed)

Well, I did get interviewed for
Channel 4's "Worlds Strangest Vaginas"
(eViLegion Chief Commissioner of the Scottish Lunacy Board, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 18:34, closed)

Alright, Kirikou.

( Dr. Shambolic je suis charlie, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 12:33, closed)

u ok babez

( d.r._and_quinch when will you be famous?, Mon 2 Dec 2013, 9:40, closed)