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This is a question Sexual Disasters

We've all been there. Tormented by Mr Floppy. Unable to find a condom at 3am. Getting cramp just when you're getting a rhythm on. A 10/10 at 1am who mysteriously becomes into a swamp donkey at 10am. The walk of shame. Tell us the tales of your sexual disasters. We won't judge.

(McChinaman banned, Thu 19 Mar 2015, 17:49)
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I can...
Make ladies spurt. I am inordinately proud of this.
(Vinegar strokes Should know better on, Mon 22 Nov 2010, 14:38, Ignore, closed)
(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 14:02, 14 replies)
How about you, Badger?
Ever make your wife "spurt"?

Come to think of it, have you ever actually found her real vagina?
(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 14:39, closed)
I put a Firenginebot (tm) in there with the ladder extended as a place marker.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 18:09, closed)
Fireenginebottom
Bright red and everyone gets the fuck out of the way when they see it coming
(I helped save b3ta! drimble he'd been white, he'd been black, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 18:12, closed)
I'd have thought a Metroplex or Unicron at least

(I helped save b3ta! emvee cruor deo cruoris, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 10:02, closed)
So your story is
"Someone told a story"?
(McChinaman banned, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 15:09, closed)
If only there was someone looking after this forum.

(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 15:13, closed)
He won't even answer my question about dogs bums.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 18:27, closed)
I blame old man river.
He didn't care enough to save us from shoddy modding.
(I helped save b3ta! monster munch person, man, woman... camera... TV?, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 21:50, closed)
Oh come on now, you're two weeks into the job and you're already recycling the same old shit, it seems hardly fair to have a go at the posters for it.

(I helped save b3ta! Amorous Badger NAKED BEA ARTHUR PHOTOS 4U, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 19:43, closed)
Yeah
Tea, when they see your picture.
(Baggenfrock get fucked, Wed 25 Mar 2015, 15:35, closed)
Are you sure they're ladies?

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 1:42, closed)
Or perhaps you confusing 'spurt' with 'vomit'?

(zebideedoodah likes florence but prefers venice, Thu 26 Mar 2015, 1:43, closed)

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